up and out

~ emotions

The next morning I woke up to a wonderful smell..but I was still feeling hurt about  yesterday afternoon.

Why would she do something like that..my brother trusted her!! The look on naysa's face hurt me even more because that was her current boyfriend.

We all knew my brother was nothing but a sweet young man...he would give the shirt off his back and food off his plate before he could have it.

Thus is what made me respect my brother growing up...he always treated me like his own flesh and blood from what I went through with our mom.

Always protecting me from boys and other things in the world so that I wouldn't have to worry or go through anything that would hurt me.

All the things my brother had done for me I couldn't even help when he needed me..I let a tear fall and more soon came afterwards.

Nate walked into the room with a tray of delicious food proping it up in front of me.

He kissed my lips and wiped away the tears which were still falling."I love you"he smiled placing his hand on my stomach then stroking it.

"The both of you...I'm going to do all the things u would like me to do today
And I don't want you stressing about anything with the baby coming in a month, so just eat and ill run u some bath water."

He got up from the bed to start my water.

*
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I sat thinking about everything I ever did and said writing it all out into my notebook

From day one all we did was fight,
now all I do is fight back my tears.
I wanted to do everything you did,
because I wanted to be just like you.
Now I sit here wondering what to do,
because there's no one to replace you.

I never did tell you all the things I felt,
like how much I really did love you.
I wish we could go back and start over again.
I don't want to be alone. I need my brother,
I need my best friend.

When you think of me 
while you're up in heaven,
Think of how much you meant to me.

It's sad that you left
without saying goodbye,
But just remember we all love you
as you began to fly.

You did so much for me,
as I didn't do much for you.
I hope you will forgive me,
for all the things I didn't do

You were my brother
and my best friend.
I will always love you 

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