Trying to keep it together
And not showing that I'm hurting.
That I'm broken.
I am not the person that you will ever think I am.
Slowly breaking off a part of me
that loves myself
As I start to lose my grasp on life
And piece by piece, I disappear
from reality and escape into my own world.
My world
filled with disappointment and rejection
But you don't live in my world.
You don't understand what I've gone through to even at the least,
be alive
No one knows that apart from the smile on my lips and my laugh,
the fact is that I used to hate myself.
Thought of myself as someone who didn't deserve to live.
Someone who tried to leave everything that they loved and cared about.
Someone who regretted being alive.
Listening to people making jokes about people hurting themselves
and painfully pretending to laugh along,
Knowing that once I go home,
I will cry myself to sleep because
I was one of those people that they laugh about.
Taking a trip to memory lane
Trying to explain to people
about the random supply
of dark and hurtful comments that my mind makes about my own self.
How is anyone supposed to get through a day of their own mind attacking them?
