Fools -Minizerk- Book 2

End

Today is Josh's funeral. My whole body feels numb, my mind a canvas with memories of Josh throughout it. These memories bring the sadness back into my life, well it hasn't really left me for a week. The day he was pronounced dead.

That's when I started to not be able to feel anything other then pain and sadness and even then that went away, leaving me with nothing except him imprinted into my brain, everywhere I look I see josh.

My heart aches the most, I miss the love. I miss the dark nights where he would cuddle me, the nightmares he scared away. Everything. It's all back now, the demons. No one is here to protect me this time.

JJ walks in breaking my train of thought, bringing me back to reality for a little bit. "Simon..." He says trailing off. "Today's the day. Josh... he gave me something before he left. He told me I'd know when to give it to you, I didn't know this is what he meant..." JJ pauses taking a deep breath. His arms come from behind his back holding a letter and a package.

"Take your time." JJ says giving me a warm smile, if only that could help me through this cold time. He places the things beside me on my brown duvet. I nod, that's the most movement I've done in a while. I see the look of hope flash across his eyes as he backs out of my room and closes my door.

I look over to the small yellow package along with the neatly folded note. I grab the note, my fingers trace along the sides. I unfold the letter the paper smooth against my corse hands. I see the handwriting I've missed for the past two weeks.

Dear my lovely Simon,

By now I'm probably dead, I'm sorry. I've already wrote my one letter about why I chose to let my self go. I cant feel anything but pain and guilt but that's all I could think of. I haven't told you about my other reasons... that's sort of what's this is about. My dad also found out about my preference... he... he hates me... I've let the only person I've looked up too my whole life down. He tried to change me in that little time you were gone. That's why I went back to Freya. I'm an absolute asshole I get that but I...never mind. His comments pushed me over the edge Simon... I... I had too. Don't let him come to my funeral, my mother is welcome, she's been nothing but supportive to me... Si I love you.

Open the package beautiful<3. Don't read the rest till it's open.

I grab the brown package, my fingers rip apart the wrapping revealing a blue velvet box. The tears brim my eyes. This can't be. I open the box the light shining down on it. Something glimmers. Shut up no. Once it is fully open and I get a good look at it I see that it is what I thought it was. A ring. A beautiful ring not to showy but just enough to show I'm taken... well was taken. My heart breaks even more then it already has. I place the delicate ring on my finger letting out a smile. Back to the note now..

Wear this ring with pride. Let everyone know how much you meant to me. I love you so much Simon. When you find your new love take it off but keep it. I'm never going to stop loving you. I hope your life goes great. Promise me something, move on.

           Love your babe,
                      Joshua B.

"I promise" I whisper as Jide yells up its time to go. I grab the bouquet of flowers josh would always buy me. White roses and orange water lilies.

I wipe away my tears as I walk down the stairs. I see everyone down there Vikk, JJ, Harry who's in shit condition , Cal standing beside him who's in worse condition, Tobi, Ethan & Emily, Callux & Saz, Alfie, Zoë, Both Joes, Marcus and Connor. They all smile while holding an arrange of bouquets.

One after one they hug me, by the end of this we all have tears cascading down our faces.

We soon leave the house taking many cars. I'm with JJ we are leading everyone toward the place we are burying Josh. We get there around 10 minutes later the car ride seemed slow.

I get out to see all of his family standing around. I finally see his dad. I angrily walk up to him I can hear Jide and the boys calling my name from behind me. "GET OUT IF HERE" I spit at him the rage in my voice scaring some of the people around us. "He is my son" he states "Fuck you. YOU HURT HIM YOY SON OF A BITCH. HE TOLD ME WHAT YOU SAID LEAVE NOW. " I point to the exit. "He doesn't want you here." I say adrenaline pumping through my veins. People probably think I've gone mad. They aren't totally wrong. "No" his dad says pushing me to the ground. "YOURE THE SON OF A BITCH WHO MADE HIM INTO A FAGGOT YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE LEAVING." He says words spitting venom as he lays them. Kicking my in the ribs. My group of friends get him off and take him out to his car.

"I'm sorry for my husbands behaviour. He's a prick... you're Simon right?" She says sweetly holding out a hand for me. "Yeah I am. " I confirm. I give her a small smile this can't be easy. "You made him so happy. He loved you so much thank you for everything" she said before hugging me. Her tight grip reminding me of Josh. I hold her just as tight. "Thank you. Josh loved you so much. You made his life with his dad so much better. I can't thank you enough for that" this time she smiles. Everything about her reminds me of josh.

We get to the grave sight. We go though a whole bung of speeches before I hear my name get called.

I take a deep breath before reading off my letter.

"Josh was a brace young soul. He made so many people smile, he was the light in your tunnel of darkness. We all sat around while not knowing he also sat in that darkness. I loved him with all my heart. That boy was my everything no matter how fucked up our relationship got we pushed through... until not long ago where we didn't show the love. The feeling was still there but we just couldn't show it. Everything about us ended. That's when everything went to shit. I was shit at being a boyfriend... we wanted to fix each other but only hurt each other. I fucked up big time. When I read the note he gave me a part of me left. I couldn't think, eat or even breath. The thought of him not in my arms crushed me. Knowing his last breaths were spent alone...knowing I could never love him again. He doesn't want us to dwell on this moment, he stated in his note. To remember him but move on. That's what he wants. He also wants everyone to know words hurt the most and to be careful of what you say. That's all thank you" I say getting a big applause. I place the bouquet into the pit where his coffin lay. "Rest in peace baby I love you" I whisper before they start to cover it. We all leave the burial ground.

---A/N---

I almost cried writing this and I'm on my bus ffs. Sorry if this chapter was bad!
1,317 words btw