Picture Perfect: A CaptainSparklez Story {COMPLETE}

Chapter 5: SHE

An empty pizza box sat open in the middle of my bedroom floor. Crumbs were strewn across the carpet, encircling our bodies. The lights were dimmed and our only light source was the flashlight from Ruby's cellphone.  The white light from the phone made the eagerness and excitement twinkle and glisten in her eyes. It painted my face, attempting to wash out the redness in my cheeks.

"I don't think I've ever met a guy who isn't a creep that asks someone they just met to photograph them," said Ruby, nibbling on her pizza crust. "There's gotta be some other reason he asked."

"Come on," I said rolling my eyes, "you obviously know the answer to that statement."

Ruby shrugged and grinned slyly. "Yeah, I know."

I sighed and looked up at my nightstand clock; it was just after eleven pm.

"I'm tired," I said, standing up and yawning. "I should get to bed."

"Yeah, you don't wanna be late to your photo shoot tomorrow!" said Ruby with a wink.

"Shut up!" I said, shoving the empty pizza box into her arms. Ruby laughed, bumped me playfully with her hip, and left the room.

Ruby was right; there had to be another reason why Jordan would ask me. I didn't want to think much of it. I was happy, and I didn't want unanswered questions plaguing my mind. It was impossible not to think about it, but what else could I do? I had already admitted my crush on Jordan! What else was there?  Did Jordan like me?

Nah, he couldn't.  He knows nothing about me.  But why would I have a crush on someone I only just met?  Are the average crushes like that?

"Maybe it's not just a crush anymore," She said. "Maybe it's stronger than that."

"Oh, so I'm in love with him?" I said aloud to my reflection in the mirror. "Is that it?"

"Maybe you should try admitting that to yourself, Carrie," She said. "Maybe you are in love with him."

"I've never been very good when it came to love," I whispered, pulling my Enderman tank over my head and slipping out of my jeans. "Love and I have never been on the same page. You know that.  Besides, even if I was it's much too soon to be sure.  We only just met."

"Maybe this time will be different," She said decisively. "Love works in mysterious ways.  Jordan is different."

"You don't know that!" I said angrily, throwing on my oversized Creeper nightshirt. "You don't know who he is!"

"I know that he is protective," She said. "I know he cares about you a lot, even if he doesn't know who you are or what happened to you."

"Never speak of it!" I growled, burying my face in my hands. "Don't remind me of it! I want to forget!"

"With me around," She whispered, "you know forgetting won't be easy."

I sat on the edge of my bed, feeling the angry tears bubble up in my eyes.

"Leave me alone," I whispered, feeling the quiver in my voice. "Just leave me alone. I don't want to do this right now."

"You know I won't be around forever, Carrie," She said sadly. "But Jordan will be around much longer. You're growing up; you need to move on from this...from me. You need to let me go."

"But...but---"

"You are not a child anymore," She said comfortingly. "There are many other people in this world that deserve your love. Being able to entrust your love in someone like Jordan will help you."

"I don't want help!" I cried, punching my pillow with a clenched fist. "I don't need help! I'm not ready to move on."

"But I am," She said cooly. I could feel the biting cold of Her words against my skin. Goosebumps trailed up my arms and along the outline of my spine. "I can't stay tethered to you forever, Carrie. You deserve to love someone other than me or your sister."

"There's no way I can love someone more than I love you," I sobbed, tears streaming down my face.  "I'm...scared."

"Give it time," She said. I could sense the smile in Her voice. "I'm almost certain that will change."

I felt Her fading away from me again, and that seemed to increase my tears.

"Don't leave me!" I sobbed. "You can't leave me like this!"

I buried my face in my pillow, clutching it close to me, as if I was attempting to smother myself.

For a brief second, that thought did enter my head.

For a brief second, I wanted to die.

I wanted to feel the heat of my own boiling blood pour over my body. I wanted to kill myself, to murder my past life, to destroy the evil that continued to plague my life, my mind, and my dreams.  All the happiness I had felt was instantly gone.  It had been replaced by sadness, darkness, evil...

My face was still buried in my pillow when I heard my bedroom door open. I could hear the soft but rapid padding of bare feet on my carpeted floor. They were approaching my bedside.

My sobs began to escalate.

"Carrie!" Ruby cried in alarm. "Carrie, stop!"

I felt the pillow being ripped from my hands as I was pulled up into a sitting position. My vision was blurred and clouded by my many tears. Ruby's arms were wrapped securely around my body in a protective embrace. She was rocking me back and forth like a restless child.

That's exactly what I was.

A child.

A broken child.

"Carrie!" Ruby whispered. "It's okay, it's alright. I'm right here."

"I can't..." I sobbed. "I-I can't...I can't---"

"You can't what?" Ruby asked, stroking my shoulder. "Carrie, talk to me."

I pulled myself closer to Ruby and wailed, "I can't let Her go!"

I felt Ruby tense up at my words. Her finger went to my chin and she tilted my head so I could look her in the eye.

"Did She...did She come through to you again?" Ruby asked, a certain edginess in her voice.

I couldn't bring myself to speak. I could only continue to tremble and shudder and sob, covering my teary eyes with shaky hands.

And even as I cried, there was still one unanswered question.

Was I truly in love with Jordan?

AN: WHOA BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING! A VOICE IN HER HEAD WHOM WE AS READERS ONLY KNOW AS "SHE"! WHO IS "SHE"?!  Guess you'll just have to keep reading ;D