Picture Perfect: A CaptainSparklez Story {COMPLETE}

Chapter 12: Letters, Cries, and Tearful Goodbyes

There was dead silence in the hospital, with the exception of the machine still monitoring my heart. The clock above the door read two in the morning.

Outside my window, I could see the gorgeous neon glow of the city's towers and late night drivers. The sky was splattered with a billion stars and a half full moon cast a white light along the tile floor of my room.

I sat up in the bed and slowly removed the needle that kept me strapped to the monitor. No doubt that would send out an alarm of some kind, but I really didn't care at that point. If they found me, so what? There were plenty of other opportunities.

I slid out of the bed and limped slightly over to the counter by the sink. My clothes, which had been cleaned of any blood and torn flesh, were sitting in a neatly stacked pile; jeans, shirt, shoes, jacket.

Jacket...

Jordan's green Creeper jacket was in the pile as well.

I shut my eyes, fighting back my tears. I had no time to get emotional about a jacket!

But it was Jordan's jacket...

I sighed angrily and threw the jacket against my bed. There was no way I would be able to take it with me. It would only bring me pain, regret, and too many memories, both bad and good.

I slipped into my shirt and jeans. The jeans still had the singed hole where the bullet had entered my leg. I shoved my feet into my laceless Chuck's and then pulled up my deflated and matted curls.

Was I really doing the right thing? If I left, would they really be okay? Was I certain? If I stayed, would I be able to help them?

If I left, I knew I could never come back. I could not have any future contact with them. It was the only way to draw my evil away from them, away from Santa Barbara.

If I stayed, the evil would just hit harder. It would start with them first, and then come back to me. It would torture them, kill them, and I would be powerless to stop it.

No. If I stayed, then I would be killing them. I would have become the evil to them.  I couldn't allow myself to see Ruby or Mark ever again. Ruby would have to live the rest of her life unsure of her sister's whereabouts, constantly worried and paranoid and miserable.

I would never be allowed to see Jordan again.  I would leave behind any love I ever felt for him. I would never get the chance to rekindle the stolen kiss. In time, he would forget me, move on with his life. He would meet someone new, someone who didn't have darkness she couldn't outrun. He would be happy again.

But in a weird way, it wouldn't be the same for him.

I knew he was in love with me, and it wasn't any kiddie-crush thing. His love for me was intense, passionate, and true. The way that love completely sparkled in his eyes when he looked at me...

Sparkled...

Sparklez...

Tears were spilling down my face now. My emotions were getting the better of me. Reason was bound to kick in if I didn't get my ass moving.

I glanced over at the nightstand next to my bed. There was a small notepad with a pen sitting next to the lamp. Immediately, I knew I couldn't leave without saying goodbye. Whether it be face to face or pen to pad, a goodbye is a goodbye.

I walked slowly over to the table and picked up the pen. Three times I dropped it, feeling as if the trembling in my hand had no possible end. Eventually, I got a good grip on the pen and picked up the pad.

With tears dripping onto the yellow page, I began to write out my last goodbye.

"Dear family,

If you have found this, it means I am probably long gone by now. I cannot stay here anymore, and I cannot ever come back. The bad always follows me, and now it will come to you if I don't draw it away.

I'm certain two of you are already asking yourselves what exactly about my past would drive me away.

When Ruby and I were young, our birthfather was murdered. They never found who it was that committed the crime, but several years later the murderer returned. He killed my mother in cold blood and I was forced to watch. It was worse for me than it ever will be for Ruby.

She wasn't there to save me.

Over the course of several months he kept me hostage, knowing I'd go to the police. He did horrible things to me. It makes me sick to this day to stare at myself in a mirror knowing what he did to me. Pain, torture, endless misery.

During that time, the spirit of my dead mother attached itself to me. I talk to her even to this day. She tried to make me see the light, but all I ever see is darkness.

I managed to escape, but I knew he would follow me. I called Ruby, knowing she'd lived here for a couple years. She would protect me, give me a home until I was sure I was safe.   For a while, I convinced myself he had given up on me. I was just starting to believe he was finally gone for good.   But after the shooting in the park and me being the ONLY one that was shot...I knew him being gone was too good to be true.

I'm sorry it has to be like this, but don't think I won't forget the amazing time I've had here with all of you. You've let a new light into my world, and I am forever grateful for that.

And Jordan..."

My tiny sniffs had become mild sobs by that point. Just writing his name on that paper hurt me in ways worse than torture or a gunshot to the leg.

There was only one thing I could put on that page.

The truth.

"And Jordan...if the evil hadn't followed me to that festival, I would have returned your kiss. You mean so much to me, but that's why I have to go; because you love me, and he'll come for you as well as me if I stay here. Jordan Maron, I love you.  All of you.  Yes Mark, even you.

Always and forever, Carietta Diamond"

Sobbing, I folded the letter and placed it on the green jacket atop my bed.

I quietly snuck out into the hallway, trying to keep my sobs under control. Ruby and Jordan were sound asleep in separate chairs while Mark was sprawled out on the couch snoring like an old dog.  Next to Ruby's chair was her purse. I bent down and grabbed her wallet and car keys. She had a fairly decent amount of cash. It could get me at least to Nevada. I saw my phone as well. I knew I couldn't take that. He could track my phone.

And then I came across my busted camera. She had stuffed it under a pile of flyers from the festival. The lens was cracked and the focus ring was beyond repair. I started cycling through the photos.  Jordan's modeling photos were still on the SD card. I had never gotten around to importing them. There were a dozen photos of the festival; children running, streamers flying, lanterns glowing.

I came to the selfie photo Jordan had taken of us together on the bench. My icy blue eyes glowed with happiness. Jordan's smile was dazzling, the light from the flash reflecting in his chocolate eyes, giving them a slight twinkle.

A sparkle...

Immediately, I knew they deserved these more than I did. These would only bring me pain and sadness about leaving them. I couldn't deal with that.

Tucking Ruby's wallet and keys into my pocket, I ripped the SD card from the camera and lightly placed it on Jordan's chest. His soft breathing was enough to almost make me swoon.

Being as quiet as I could, I slowly bent over and, as light as a feather, kissed his forehead.

"Goodbye, Jordan," I whispered tearfully. "I love you."

I turned away from my sleeping friends and began making my way down the hall to the exit. My tears are waterfalls now. The dam in my eyes had officially burst.

I did not look back.

I looked forward.

Only the darkness greeted me.