It was raining as I was on my way back to the Dark Brotherhood Sanctuary. It was an underground crypt, near Falkreath, just by the road. Hidden in deep and big pine forest.
Fresh air filled my lungs. Scent of grass and rain was so peaceful. Soon, well-known scent of Nightshades appeared. Home.
I entered the Sanctuary, leaving Shadowmere, Astrid's horse in a small pond in front of the doors. Warm air surrounded me. Scent of Nazir's cooking took me over. I didn't even realize how hungry I was. This last contract from Nazir was really tough. Not to even mention the big plan Astrid works on. The biggest contract we ever had. Killing the Emperor. These days are not bearable in Sanctuary. No wonder, Babette is so often outside 'hunting'. If I had an excuse, I would also use it to escape from this mess. Everyone are busy. Arnbojrn is sharping the blades, Veezara is as always practicing or reading a book, Festus has his wrinkled nose burried deep in the same, old, dusty books, Nazir has his own business with contracts, Gabriella is helping Astrid with the plan and for Cicero is not sure what he is doing. Talking with the dead corpse? He mostly done that.
On the other hand, I had to fetch everything for everyone, I had to do contracts that weren't my job and also not make anyone mad, especially Astrid. Well, not that I would ever want that. It was quite important to me that my mistress is pleased with my work.
I headed downstairs and saw Astrid standing in her usual spot. She was leaning against the wall, arms crossed over her chest. She smiled faintly as I approached and greeted her.
"Sister."
She replied and raised one of her eyebrows. Dirty blonde hair cupped her face perfectly. Her green eyes had always a stern gaze. They could make you feel fear and admiration at the same time.
Astrid was like a steady breeze that could easly turn into a hurricane. Her silent nature made her mysterious and upredictable. Astrid, the unreadable, divine beauty and strength.
Even now, I could barley concentrate on my tasks whenever I saw her. Why was I so enchanted by her? She held no feelings for me, then why do I feel something for her?
"How was your contract?"
The sound of her voice was like a honey that melts on tongue. In the same time, I was melted and frozen. Frozen and shocked a bit. I can tell that by the rythim of my heart.
It was strange for Astrid to ask such question. She never done that. Mostly, she was just satisfied with the result. The way you achieve it was something she didn't ask to hear. And everything that doesn't include what she asked about, was unnecessary and annoying to her. I am the part of Dark Brotherhood for long enough to know that 'annoyed Astrid' means 'mad Astrid'.
"Err, fine...I guess."
I asnwered. Words slipped out of my mouth like clumsy cub. I sounded nervous, surprised and weak. Even a shivering tone could be heard in my voice. Astrid definately heard it.
"Mhm.."
She nodded. And I couldn't hold my tongue back.
"Why do you ask?"
I blurted out loud. The green orbs met mine. I gulped. Astrid's expression was unreadable. I shouldn't have asked that, right?
"Why wouldn't I?"
Astrid raised one of her eyebrows. The other one furrowed a bit.
"I don't mind you asking me that. It's just...strange. I mean, for you. No offense."
She broke the eye contact with me and looked right in front of her. In the wall. Stupid mouth. I just can't be quiet, can I?
"Speaking of strange..."
She started the sentence and looked back at me. I saw a slight smirk on her face. Or perhaps, I imagined it. I don't know.
"I am not the only one who is acting 'strange', right, Y/N?"
I didn't know what to say. I felt like I was trapped. It was a trap. Astrid's trap. She always done that. Pushing people in the corner, cutting them off, mocking them...Astrid was specialized in those areas.
"Why is that, Y/N?"
So she won't stop? Of course. After all, members of Dark Brotherhood are bloodlust killers. Torturing is like a dessert to them. To us.
"What do you mean?"
I tried to act like I am stupid. Astrid smirked and rolled her eyes. She moved away from her usual standing spot and approached me. I dared not to move. She didn't stop. She was closer and closer. My heart pumped blood faster and faster. I felt the sweat on my palms. My mouth felt dry. I gulped. I shivered. I dared not to brake the eye contact. And I really wanted to.
Suddenly, within a blink of an eye, a slender hand wrapped itself on my neck and pulled me. I found myslef pinned on table where the map of Skyrim was. I thanked Talos none of these daggers, that were placed on the table, didn't pierce my heart.
But this was much worse. I was currently pinned on cold and hard table by an assassin. Astrid's grip was so tight I was sure I will have bruises for few days. I could imagine my bones crack if she sqeezed me harder. I really didn't want that. But, in the end, this would be a fine death. Surely is better to die by a hand of gorgeous assassin than by an axe of ugly bandit.
"Acting stupidity does not suit you, sister."
She hissed. I couldn't read her expression. Was she really mad at me? Was I annoying?
She leaned closer to me, but her grip was still tight as the edge of ebony sword.
Her mouth was close to my left ear. I could feel her warm breath carressing my skin. Of course, my heartbeat grew stronger and faster, if that was even possible.
"You and I know very well what is going on."
Her tone melted me. I wanted to hear her over and over. I would never get tired of listening to her voice.
"You like me, you love me, you want me. Call it however you wish to. The thing that matters is that you cannot deny it even if you wanted to."
"I can."
I said with cracked voice. At the sound of me, Astrid eased her grip.
"Do you? Than say it. Say that you hate me. Say that you want me dead. Say it."
She was pushing my limits. Deep inside, I knew I am not able to say that. Why did I resist at all?
"You can't. And why? Because, Y/N, you love me."
That word lingered in the air. My breathing stopped and time has been frozen. Two green orbs were all I could see. I couldn't control my moves. I flipped her over so that she was now pinned on the table and I was above her. And then...I done something extremely stupid and brave. Difference and limit between those two is really thin. To me, it was invisible.
I kissed Astrid.
I felt her lips on mine, colided together, matched perfectly. Like a puzzle.
Taste was special. I could taste bitter shock on her tongue. I could feel green orbs piercing me. But I didn't care. I couldn't. Her soft lips, smell of her skin and hair were everyrhing I needed to feel right now.
Then happend, right when I wanted to break the kiss and run away, something I wasn't expecting at all. Astrid's lips moved. My chest were filled with joy, heat and love. She carressed my cheek. The kiss grew stronger. Warmth in my heart increased.
Suddenly, the leader broke the kiss and pushed me away. I dared not to look at her. I was ashamed. I shouldn't have done that. I expected a slap or even blade to cut my throat. I wouldn't resist if it was by Astrid's hand.
"Come here."
She ordered in hard and strict tone and grabbed me by the hand. I didn't care where she will take me. The only thing important now was the place Astrid had in my heart. And knowing she had a special place for me in hers too. It will beat forever for her.
