My Complicated Life

Chapter 19

I may have forgotten to mention that it was Christmas Eve. For the first time in my entire life I was not excited for Christmas. It was not that I was dreading it or anything, but we were not going to do the whole present thing since neither of us really wanted to try and find something for Uncle Dave, nor were we actually doing anything for Christmas Eve or day. Back home, we always went to church on Christmas Eve and opened one present, then on Christmas day my whole family came over on my mom’s side and we celebrated with them. This year we were just going to eat in Uncle Dave’s kitchen and probably be stuck watching the local news. Again.

At about six o’clock, just as it was almost completely dark, Uncle Dave decided to send us to the store to buy Christmas dinner. May I note that the nearest grocery store was about an hour away? It was also pouring down rain.

“So you’re sure this is everything?” Jason asked as he held up the list.

“Ham, potatoes, green beans, milk, Corona Extra, and rolls,” Uncle Dave replied.

“Okay, you do remember that I literally just told you I’m not old enough to buy beer, right?”

“Oh yeah, right, sorry.”

I grabbed my jacket and followed Jason down the front steps to the truck. I knew what had happened that last day I saw my dad before last year, but had yet to tell Jason. When he came in the bedroom, I insisted that I did nit want to talk about it, and that I would tell him later. Jason crammed the list in his pocket, nearly ripping the list while doing so.

“That man needs help,” Jason said as he shook his head. “How did he not hear me when I told him twice before that I’m not old enough to buy beer? How old does he think I am? Just yesterday he thought I was still the little nine-year-old who can share a twin bed. “

“You do move a lot in bed. It’s quite annoying.”

“Sorry.”

Neither of us said anything else for a while before I finally asked,

            “Are you scared to go live with Dad again?”

            “I don’t know. All I know is that I’m not looking forward to it.”

            “I am. What if he leaves again?”

            “Then he can’t expect either of us to give him another chance.”

            I nodded. For once I realized I was the one who was scared, not Jason. Maybe he was just pretending or hiding his fear from me. But either way, he seemed to have more faith in himself and Dad than I did. I was actually disappointed in myself for being the scared one before even giving Dad another chance. I guess it’s okay, though, after all I am younger, and I now know that I was there when my mom left him.

            After an hour in the car, we finally reached the grocery store. First we looked for the ham, which I expected on Christmas Eve to be well picked over, but it was not. The good thing about this grocery store was that it was not large enough to carry much variety. There were only about three different types hams to choose from, and since there was only going to be three of us, we went for the smallest one. Next we went for the potatoes, followed by the rest of the list, minus the beer.

“Uncle Dave better be hungry because I hate green beans and potatoes,” I finally said.

“I’ll eat the potatoes, but no way in heck am I eating the green beans,” Jason replied.

            When we checked out, I realized that we were the only ones there, except for two men, one who checked us out, and one who bagged our food. I was getting a little creeped out and ready to go. Jason took one bag and I took the other as before heading back to the truck.