Complete opposites

Currently right now I'm in the library sitting down on the furthest aisle crying my eyes out. I don't know why I would come to this place but I mean it's the closest to my house.

I put my headphones in and rest my head on my knees I sob and sob I hope nobody hears me. I honestly don't give a damn if they do though, right now I feel like complete shit over what happened and I don't feel like giving two fucks on what people have to say. All lost in my thoughts I feel a tap in my shoulder I quickly turn towards where I felt the tap. What I see is a boy with curly hair then i quickly see he has a name tag fuck he works here.

He then speaks "Um. Ma'm.. I have seen that you have been here for quite a long time, and I don't mean to be rude or any such but can you leave?.. N-not because we're kicking you out but it's 10 o'clock and were about to close" he says.

He gives me a shy smile, I then stare at the ground and then slowly stand up. I slowly make my way out the library I could sense that boy staring at me the whole time I made my way out. I put my hoodie up and walk to the closest bench.

I sit their thinking I have no idea on what I should do, should I go back to the hell of my house or just spend the night in this cold rainy day sleeping somewhere anywhere. I then feel rain drops on forehead, I decide to go back home I have no choice I hate the outside plus the weather is bad I could not sleep out here while I'm soaking wet.

I make sure I walk back home slowly it usually takes me about 14 minutes to walk from the library. When I get their I'm soaking we. I slowly open the back door wishing with everything that my mother is asleep. When I open it I see its dark, really doesn't surprise me that she's not up calling everyone worried sick about me like other moms would be if their daughters left the house after an argument. She probably was glad I left.

I run quietly to my room, I open the door and then close it I run to my bed and just throw myself to it not even changing out to clean dry clothes or showering I'm just to tired.

I wake up with a slap in the face and when I finally can open my eyes I see my mom with such an angry face can I even call her mom ? Right now she surely looks like a monster. "Where the FUCK did you leave Off too? Did you go to you bitch ass friends to smoke ? Or did you go to your hobo looking ass boyfriends house to be a little slut? ANSWER ME"

I couldn't believe what she just told me I look away and wipe a tear and turn back around I stay quiet. I then decide to speak up "I left because I could not put up with your judgmental ass anymore, and I only left for half the day can you stop making such a big deal." -

"What the fuck do mean for me not to make a big deal? You lil shit just decided to barge out the front door and leave to who fuck sakes knows and you expect me not to say shit to you?"

I stand up start walking to my closet,ignoring her I just can't put up with her this early of a morning then I feel her hand yank my hair pulling me all the way to the ground. When she lets go my head quickly goes back touching the floor , fuck I can feel a concussion coming if she doesn't stop.

She then aggressivly kicks me in the leg and then says " If only your dad had taken your shit ass with him the day he left" then she walks out the door slamming it as hard as possible.

I curl up into a ball on the ground like i always do I honestly have been through this alot but I still break down shouldn't I be used to this? I should be I mean ever since my dad left her when I was 9 and while she was pregnant with my little brother. It's been 8 years since he has left but she still has not gotten over it.

And it seems like I'm her punching bag she blames me for him leaving, she blames me for everything she constantly beats me up, we can't even talk without us almost killing each other. You can say life for me is hell. I stand up and go to my drawer next to my bed I open it and look around for a small box and I find it and grab it opening it I grab a razor.