Run Away || Luke Hemmings

22

"If that was the truth Luke none of this would have happened. You wouldn't let temptation take over you. I have three attractive men sitting here." I pointed to Calum, Michael and Ashton. "I have all my attractive fans but I don't go and sleep with them. Don't even say guys can't like my music because I met plenty of straight males on my journey. I stay committed to the person who has always made me happy. The person who had put me through literal hell and back. When do I say enough is enough? How far do I go before I look stupid?"

"Can we talk without them around?" He glanced back at his band and I shook my head. I knew he had me wrapped around his finger. Anything he would say to me would have me running for him. People say that guys are whipped it's never the other way around. But Luke, he had me whipped. "Fine." He said everything. He explained every emotion he was feeling. His head a jumbled mess of emotions. It was clear that he cared about me but there was something holding him back. I called him out on it as he finished his big speech.

"What are you holding back Luke?" He gave me a puzzled look. "Answer the question. You say you care about me and I'm the one. But none of this would happen if there wasn't something else so what is it?"

He looked at his band members and I could read all over his body language that he wanted them gone. He was just hunched and didn't want to say what he had to with them around. But I knew the moment they walked off things would go a completely different direction. I would end up losing every hard bone I had in my body. I refused to budge and he had to take it. "I just know I'm going to keep hurting you. It's the only thing I'm good at."

"I think Luke has too much temptation to stay in a committed relationship with someone." Calum finally stepped in. I looked back at him wondering why he had never stopped me from taking the next step with Luke if that is how he felt. I mean not that he really had much control. Luke and I really don't like to listen to advice and we had obviously paid the price.

I wanted the conversation to be over. It was a constant in my life. I didn't like dealing with situations that weren't going my way. I walked towards Luke to get to the door. He lightly grabbed my arm trying to stop me from leaving the situation. "Em." He tried to get me to look at him. My heart was pretty much all over the floor in a million pieces because of him and I didn't want to see his face. I didn't want to see how perfectly his hair was positioned. I didn't want to see how every curl on his stupid little head went its own direction. I didn't want to see how his scruff fit his face flawlessly. I didn't want to see the sadness filling his bright blue eyes. I wanted nothing to do with it. He refused to let go of my arm though.

"Luke please let go. You have hurt me enough already. It's going to take time but I think this time I'm realizing how much we aren't meant to be. I can't fucking go through this bullshit anymore. I can't keep loving someone who can't love me back in the same way. Hell I'm starting to realize that Calum loved me better than you did." I looked at him as the last sentence rolled off my tongue. He instantly dropped my arm allowing me to walk off.

I didn't want to see his reaction. I walked straight towards the front door and out it. I was trapped in this life I didn't want. I didn't know how to get out of it. It was like I wanted nothing to do with my best friends. The whole life was a complicated mess I wanted to throw away. I couldn't go through any of it anymore. I had already been through one downward spiral to hell I didn't need another one. I didn't need people worrying about my mental stability. I couldn't put my family through that again.

@EmeryBlake: Loved you since day one, but I guess I've learned you aren't the one. – h.r.l

I contemplated pushing send on the most revealing thing I ever posted about Luke and me. If I ever looked back I wanted to make sure I knew exactly who the tweet was about. I couldn't straight up be like guys this is about Luke. I'd normal put someone's initials after a tweet but with the past people would be extremely suspicious. I put such a light on Luke and me when I went and tried to ruin his career for hurting me. Exposing my past about being in love with my best friend put pressures on everything we did together. The never ending questions about if we were dating were asked. No matter what really went on. I knew people would figure out the tweet but I didn't care anymore.