Swayed (A Before You Exit Fanfiction)

Chapter Seven - Truce

Copyright © 2013 BYEconnort  - All Rights Reserved

“Where are we going?” I asked for about the nth time as Connor and I walked beside each other on the sidewalk. He never answers this question of mine. He just looks straight ahead like he doesn’t hear me. I mean what place could we go to by foot exactly? I just wanted to know where we were going.

“You’re not going to answer my question, are you?” I sigh in defeat. He glances at me from the corner of his eye and shakes his head.

“I think right now it’s your curiosity that’s keeping you with me so I’ll use that to my advantage.”

“Actually, you’re right. I’d rather be sleeping in my bed right now,” I puffed my cheeks.

“Audrey, it’s already 10 in the morning,” he gives me a dubious look.

“Sleep is good,” I say. “So where are we going?”

“You’ll know when we get there.” I roll my eyes at his response.

As we walked through the neighborhood, I couldn’t help but observe my surroundings. The fact that I didn’t find major changes in this place since I came back was reoccurring. I almost felt as if life had paused in Orlando when I left, and now it’s like I hit the play button, and it just continues where it left off. Maybe I was partly relieved to not feel like a stranger in my own hometown. But somehow it didn’t feel right. It was scary too, the idea of falling back to my old life. And I was pretty sure Connor was my ticket to that. Maybe trying to revive our friendship isn’t such a great idea, especially when I’m having all these doubts. Or maybe it would be nice to have him in my life again.

If you searched the dictionary for the word confused, you would find my name there.

I reminded myself not to over think and get ahead of myself, and just go with it. A little positivity won’t hurt, too.

After around ten more minutes of walking and very minimal conversation, we finally stopped at our destination. I couldn’t help but shake my head at the place Connor had asked me to come with him. 

“So you dragged me out of my house to go to a Starbucks joint when I could’ve done more productive things at home?”

“Like what?” he countered as he held the door open for me.

“I would’ve preferred it better if you just surprised me with Starbucks instead of scaring the crap out of me first thing in the morning.”

He chuckles at this. “Where’s the fun in that?”

As we lined up to get our orders taken, Connor didn’t bother with small talk and I was left all alone with my thoughts. First, he shows up in my bedroom before I even woke up, a bit creepy might I add, and now we’re in Starbucks about to get coffee together. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it seemed like a date from a different perspective.

“So,” I began when we finished ordering. “Why are we here again?”

He seems to be avoiding my question as he cast his eyes on our surroundings, anywhere but me.

“Hey Audrey!” a familiar voice hollered.  I looked past Connor’s shoulders and spotted Riley and Toby waving at me with big goofy smiles. They were occupying a table at the corner of the coffee shop. All thoughts of this being a date immediately vanished form my mind. If I could risk being a little honest with myself, I’d say I was partially disappointed, but I also felt a small sense of relief that I wouldn’t have to be constantly worried about the awkward air between me and Connor. I smiled and waved at them in return before picking up our drinks and making our way to them.

Just as we settled down on our seats, the Riley and Toby got up from theirs and made a move to leave.

“Where are you guys going?” Connor asked, with a crease in his forehead.

“Gotta run, bro,” Riley replied with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“That’s not part of the plan,” Connor whispered angrily. But it was loud enough for me to hear.

“See you later.“ And they were gone.

“What plan?” I asked. I didn’t like being kept in the dark.

“Nothing,” he snapped.

I was taken aback by the distress in his voice.

“Hey, calm down. It’s only me,” I touched his shoulder lightly and he flinched at the contact. His reaction was like a punch to my gut that left me gaping at him.

“Yeah, it’s only you.” He looked at me with the full intensity of his eyes, a sardonic smile on his face. “The Audrey who’s been gone for so long without so much as a goodbye and suddenly she turns up at your doorstep with dessert in her hands. She hugs you and tells you she misses you after all those years without a single call, a text, an email, a message, a letter. Nothing.”

I looked away, trying not to let him see the hurt in my face. I hate the fact that his words hurt me because I had no right to be. I hate that he unleashed all that pent up anger on me without so much as a warning. But I’m guilty as charged, and that, I can’t question.

I opened my mouth a few times, as if willing the right words to escape me. But nothing came. I felt weak and stupid and all I wanted to do at the moment was cry.

I will not cry. I repeated this mantra again and again in my head. I will not cry. I will not cry.

It was a long uncomfortable silence before either of us spoke again.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” he murmured. I wanted to tell him I deserved it but I couldn’t. “How about let’s call a truce and start over?”

I nodded my head in response even though I knew this topic hasn’t disappeared altogether yet. It was just tucked away to be tackled a different day. I think I prefer having him mad at me than being in this ‘truce’ where we act like we’re okay but there’s really so many things left unsaid. But for now, I think it would have to do. 

For the remaining time we spent together, only the safe topics of conversation were mentioned. The tension in the air disappeared considerably as we fell into easy conversation. Talking to Connor made me really happy and it wasn’t as awkward as I predicted. It was like old times when he’d babble on and on and I would be happy and content to listen to his musings about totally random things. This is probably one of those things I missed the most about him. He was very talkative, even up till now, and I was always taciturn and liked it better keeping to myself. But when I did have something to speak of, he’d always be heedful and he’d pay me a lot of attention that sometimes, it became slightly unnerving. Especially the way he’d have his eyes trained on me the whole time I spoke, as if whatever I said was the most important thing, even though it was just something dumb like forgetting the bag of groceries I just purchased from the counter and having to go back to retrieve it afterwards. As chatty as he was, he’s also easily a good listener.

It warmed my insides to know some things haven’t changed.

I knew we still weren’t completely okay. I knew we were both itching to talk about other things. Things that aren’t always easy to say. It would have to wait another time but someday though, I know we’ll be alright.

A/N: I kinda think this chapter is plenty awkward and I think I'm gonna change some things about it in the future (when I'm in the right state because right now I'm beat). But anyways, thanks for reading (even though this chapter sucked and it's not enough as a sorry for not updating for like five months). Thoughts? Comments? Reactions? Please feel free to comment below or message me or tweet me because I seriously appreciate feedback whether it's good or bad. Don't forget to vote too! :)

Special mention to @BYEemily, @BYErenachance, and @BYEconnorsgurl for commenting on chapter six. You don't know how much those comments mean to me. <3