I See Why He Didn't Say No (Marliza)

Let's Make Amends

Maria tried to focus on the rain pounding outside rather than the angry man before her. She had faced an angry man in this apartment many times, but never this one.

"HOW COULD YOU?" Alexander yelled, "WAS THIS YOUR STUPID FUCKING PLAN?"

"No, Sir!" Maria pleaded, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't stand him being angry at her. She had fallen in love with him. "Please don't go, sir!" She was on her knees, begging, vulnerable in just a t-shirt and her underwear.

"So was your whole story a set-up?"

"No!" She cried. In a way it was, but it had been the truth. And it wasn't her fault. Tears streamed down her face. "Please-"

"Stop crying, goddamnit, get up!" Alex ordered, grabbing her arm harshly and yanking her up.

"I didn't know any better!" Maria panicked. He was scaring her and he'd never done that before. She loved him. She needed him.

"I AM RUINED BECAUSE OF YOU!" He seethed.

Maria curled into herself. "Please don't leave me with him."

"How could I do this?" Hamilton muttered to himself.

"J-just give him what he wants and you can have me," Maria tried desperately. "If you pay, you can stay!"

"I don't want you."

Those words stung her bitterly. She felt her heart seize up. "Alexander, d-do you love me?"

He looked at her, shocked. "What?"

She tried to calm herself. "Do you love me?"

The man looked to the floor. "I..."

Maria's heart was cracking. "Just... tell me you love me. Please."

He looked up, eyes ashamed. "I can't."

Maria felt tears sting her eyes once again. "Don't you love me?"

Alexander shook his head, slowly. "I don't... I don't love you, Maria."

Tears began slipping down her cheeks. "Are you gonna pay the money?"

"Yeah, I'll pay." His voice was quiet and he sounded defeated.

"Do you still want to have sex?"

He nodded.

"But you don't love me." Maria's voice cracked.

Again, he nodded.

She shook her head, slowly. She couldn't let herself do this. She loved this man, but he didn't love her. She was unloveable. "I don't think so. Get out." 

He turned and left Maria sobbing in her living room all alone. She felt absolutely worthless.

Maria shot up, sweating, tears streaming down her face. She had been dating Eliza for just over a week now and although her mental state was a little better, the nightmares hadn't subsided. Eliza had been insisting she go see someone, but Maria refused. She didn't want to admit that she had a problem.

She felt arms go around her and heard a soothing voice in her ear.

"Was it about James again?"

"No... it..." Maria was a bit worried to tell Eliza the truth. She didn't want to make her angry.

Eliza seemed to know what she was thinking. "I won't be angry, Maria, I promise. I love you."

Maria nodded, settling into Eliza's arms. "It was Alex."