Just Ming Thoughts: Solitude and Friendship

Solitude and Friendship

Solitude is something that's familiar to me.

Something I call home.

Whenever I'm alone I feel as if I just took a bath and cleaned all the uncleanliness that collected on my trousers while being with people.

Humans are complicated creatures. They all have a inner self that they try to find during their lifetime but while they're trying to find this inner self, they put on a mask and cloak to disguise themselves as something or someone else. Whenever we're alone, this precious solitude strips us of our masks and costumes and exposes our true identity. Thus when we're alone, we're a step closer to finding this inner self, this hidden potential that's waiting patiently in a cage lost somewhere in the dark, sophisticated labyrinth called our mind.

Solitude allows us to be ourselves.

But long term solitude is harmful to us. We need human interaction to see other points of views, to experience, to learn. When we're around others, we put on our disguises but from the inside, we can still perceive and think with our own self. Human interaction is basically weak humans hiding behind a mask talking to each other and trying to figure out the meaning of it all. The meaning of our existence, our fates, our motives.

Friendships can also strip away solitude.

When I say friendships, I don't mean masked humans trying to impress other masked humans. What I mean is true and genuine friendship. Elements and factors that make up true friendship is:

1) No judgments

2) Accepting change and open minded

3) To Listen

A true friendship means the two humans strip off their disguises. In order for one to expose their true selves to another being, they must be comfortable to do so. People are not comfortable in the first place is because they are fearful. Fearful of judgment which leads to mistreatment. No one wants to be vulnerable because vulnerability makes one weak.

True friendship requires the two humans to accept changes and be open minded which also connects to the no judgments piece. Humans constantly change as time passes on. These changes can cause the loss of friendship and connectivity. If one's change affects another's comfortability then the friendship is no longer true. In order for true friendships to occur, one must love the other with a passion. Undying love. True friendships can overcome change and go way beyond that horizon. Open-mindedness allows one to be accepting of another's change which leads to the next element which is listening.

True friendships require communication. Not just any normal communications but an almost flawless understanding of each other. This is very rare in the status quo because everyone is so self-centered. Everyone focuses on themselves: their own grades, own jobs, own talents, and own feelings. In order for a true friendship to occur, one must know the other like they know themselves and to achieve this, they must listen. Listening is not just understanding the words floating out of the other's mouth but to see it, grasp it, live in it, experience it, and treasure it. Listening is the key to love, the most important factor and it leads to no judgments and to acceptance because if one truly lives and experiences the other's world as they speak, they accept them.

Friendships like these almost never occur because the majority of friendships are created through the thought of utilitarianism. Rather than being ethical people think practically. If the friendship or connection doesn't benefit them in any way such as social status, money, learning, or love, then one most likely wouldn't be interested in making such a friendship.

The idea of friendship is to encourage one another, to bring up each other and reach higher heights.

But our modern lifestyles and ideals have changed the meaning of friendship.

One might think they have friends but in reality, there might only be one that will ride with them till the end or maybe even none.

And that's why people wear masks. If one puts their whole heart into a friendship to only see it crumble, over time one will build walls around themselves, layer by layer.

I've built plenty.