My Chronic Shyness...

From The Beginning...

     Some moments in time are ingrained in our memory banks forever.  Each one leaving it's an distinctive mark.  Sometimes it's because something happened that you really, really wanted and sometimes it's because it was one of the worst days of your life.  I must admit, that in my life, I have seen a good dose of both and for that I am grateful.  It hasn't been all good so I lost humility.  At the same time, it hasn't been all bad that I delved into the evil abyss.

     Some of the first memories that I have were when me and my family were living in East Germany in the late 1970's.  Back then, I was a little shy boy of 6 years old.  My hair was black and cut close to my head.  Of course that was my parents' doing.  I had deep brown eyes and lightly-browned skin.  Some would have thought that I was of mixed ethnicity because of it; but nope.  I was, and still am, 100% Black American.  Early on, I thought of music as a way of expression, a way to relate to the world, and the eventual soundtrack of my life.  From then on,  I was hooked!  Since this was the late 70's I was exposed to all types of music.  I based my love for a song not solely on who sang it but on the voice of the singer, the music and the lyrics themselves.   I was one of four children between my MoM and my dad.  My MoM had three other children with another man before my dad.  Funny enough,  I didn't grow up thinking any different of them.

     My MoM was a very reserved and non-confrontational kind of woman.  I mean don't get me wrong; she would put a belt or switch to that ass.  However, she could be standing in front of a room and you wouldn't even notice her.  She was about five feet five inches tall with jet black hair and bright brown eyes.  She was of medium frame with light golden brown skin.  In her immediate family, she was the eldest of her 9 siblings so she knew about sacrifice and survival.

     Now my dad was a different type.  He was a very abrasive and harsh soul with a personality to match.  But, he was my dad.  He stood about six feet with a very thin build.  He had the kind of dark chocolate brown eyes that seemed lifeless and his hair was midnight black.  He always barked out orders and, if he had a compassionate side, I never seen it.  I was a helpless goldfish and he was a hungry crocodile out on the prowl.  He was a military man who served in the Vietnam War so GOD only knows what he saw and what he had to do. 

     My siblings were unique and we got along great as far as I was concerned.  There was my older sister Tricia (by eleven months), my brother Earl Jr., and my baby sister Laura, who was very young at this time.

     Music was a constant in our house.  I grew up in the late 1970's through the 1980's so I was fortunate enough to hear some of the best.  In a Black American household, you will usually hear R & B and Soul music.  During that time music stations weren't so segregated so I heard Rock, Pop, a little country, and Disco.