The Test

Chapter Eighteen

Layna

The past five years had been difficult ones.

Therewasn't a handbook or any sort of guideline for dealing with that sort of traumathat I had gone through, and even if my mind couldn't remember what hadhappened to me, my body did.      That was one of the worst parts, I think. Sometimes something would trigger me, and throw me into a full blown panic attack, and I wouldn't realize it until it was too late.

The counseling that I had gone to had really helped with that. I had been able, with the help of my therapist, to figure out what types of things would set me off. Small spaces and things around my neck were the two of the major ones. The first time I had discovered it, Derek had been helping me put on one of my necklaces before we left for dinner. As soon as the chain had been placed around my neck, the panic had overtaken me and I could barely breathe. He managed to help me through it, and ever since then we had been more careful.

It had taken some time for me and Derek to get back to a place where we were okay with each other. After what happened, Derek and I had spent a lot of time together trying to rebuild our relationship. We talked a lot about all the hurt that had been between us, and we had been very honest with each other. It took several months before either of us were ready to begin a relationship, but we had been going strong since. About a year and a half after we got together, he had proposed.

I wore my ring proudly; they were a symbol for me, not just of our marriage, but of our journey to get to where we were today. They were a symbol of our strength, and love for each other, and proved that no matter what, we would always find our way back to each other.

We had been married for almost three years now, and it had been the happiest time in my life. I had moved down to Florida with Derek once we got engaged, and right before the wedding, my parents had joined us. They had sold their home, saying that there were too many memories there, and that it was time for them to have a fresh start.

They lived in the same gated community as we did, their house located just a couple blocks away from ours. Derek had insisted in a gated community; he liked the twenty-four-hour security that it provided and the fact that not just anyone could get it.

I had also started going to school; I wanted to become a psychiatrist, focusing on helping women and men who were in abusive relationships.

Overall it had been a good couple of years, and even though we had had a few bumps along the way, it was still one of the happiest times in my life.

***

I woke up freezing, and with the sun shining in my face. I let out a dissatisfied moan, moving over to the right side of the bed where it was warmer. I snuggled my face into Derek's chest, and he let out a low laugh as he wrapped his arms around me.

"It's cold," I protested, and he just chuckled again. But he did grab the blanket and pulled it around my shoulders to warm up. "Why is it so cold in this house?"

Derek kissed my forehead, "Good morning to you too. And it's cold because someone was complaining last night that it was too hot, and threatened my manly bits if that problem wasn't corrected."

I buried my face in his shoulder, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Of course you don't. Now, get up because we have to meet your parents for breakfast."

"Its Sunday, I shouldn't have to get out of bed," I grumbled.

"You want to tell your parents that?"

"No."

"So get that pretty little behind out of bed," he said, tapping the said area.

With a little more coaxing, and a promise of some tea, I managed to roll myself out of bed and into the shower. I did my makeup and hair as Derek showered, and then went to put on my clothes. Even though I had gone to bed early the previous night, I was still strangely tired so I decided to lay down on the bed as I waited for Derek, and just to close my eyes for a couple of minutes hoping to snap myself out of it.

With the calming noise of the running water coming from the bathroom, I was lulled back into sleep.

Derek

I walked out of the bathroom, towel drying my hair, only to see Layna asleep on the bed. Lately, I had noticed that she was always more tired than usual, and would take several more naps during the day. She hadn't said anything, but I made a note to ask her if she was having nightmares again.

Ever since she left the hospital, she would go through weeks where she wouldn't be able to sleep because of the nightmares. She could never remember what exactly had happened during them, but they always be terrifying for her, and she would wake up paralyzed by fear.

The therapy she was still undergoing seemed to help her; it allowed her to share her feelings with someone. She came to me to of course, but sometimes before she was able to tell me something it helped if she got her thoughts in order with someone else. I didn't mind it since it was easier for her to understand her emotions before she explained them to me.

I went to sit beside her, gently stroking her hair back from her face. I was conflicted whether or not to wake her, but in the end I decided against it. I texted her parents letting them know that we would have to postpone because Layna wasn't feeling well.

I avoided telling them my assumptions about her nightmares because I didn't want to worry them when I myself had no idea if I was right. 

Just as I was about to go into the living room, Layna suddenly jolted awake, bolting from the bed and running towards the bathroom. Surprised, I got up following her inside where she was kneeling in front of the toilet throwing up.

I rushed to her side, holding her hair back as her body heaved. When she finished, she collapsed against me, trembling. I stroked her hair, not saying anything, even though my mind was racing a mile per minute.

Layna stood up shakily and walked over to the sink, with me a step behind her, ready to catch her if she fell. She brushed her teeth, rinsing with mouth wash when she was finished.

Then she looked up at me sheepishly, "Sorry about that. I must be coming down with the flu or something."

"Don't apologize," I said pressing my hand to her forehead to see if she had a fever, "You've been off the last couple of weeks and I'm starting to get a little worried."

"I'm fine," she said, pressing into my hand. "It's probably just a stomach bug."

"For this long?"

She pulled away, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm not the doctor in the room; You tell me."

I frowned, not liking how she was brushing off her health like it was nothing. I had almost lost her once, I wasn't ready to go through it a second time.

She saw the look on my face and sobered up, stepping forward she wrapped her arms around my waist, resting her head on my chest. "Derek, stop worrying so much. It's nothing, I promise."

I pressed my face into her hair, breathing in her scent. "I just want you to be okay," I said, my voice cracking.

Layna pulled back, a soft smile on her face. "Stop being such a worry wart. I'll call and make an appointment tomorrow to see the doctor. And he's going to tell me exactly what I told you: I'm fine."

I nodded my head, leaning forward to kiss her softly, happy that she had taken my advice.