Short Stories for the Fangirl Feels

Same Mistakes (Part 3)

DANIELLA POV

"The sky is so pretty at this time of night," I sighed, "it's still dark but starting to haze over with orange...absolutely beautiful- "

A snore sounded from beside me.

"Niall!" I scolded, slapping his chest, causing him to jolt awake.

He groaned, "What? I'm up. Will you stop hitting me?"

"If you keep falling asleep you're going to miss it." I informed him.

We were out in his backyard, laying on a blanket and waiting for the sun to rise. Niall had promised to stay awake with me to watch it, I since I've never been awake to witness it before.

"Can't we just watch it another day? We're not really missing anything...."

"Nye, you promised." I pouted, causing his eyes to soften.

He sighed, "Okay, okay. C'mere."

He pulled me closer to him on the blanket, his sweater covered body helping to warm me. I was foolish enough to go out in just Niall's t shirt, and was regretting it now

"You're lucky I love you..." he mumbled, kissing the top of my head.

I smiled and snuggled closer to him.

"I love you too."

****

I jolted awake from my dream, disappointed it wasn't real, as usual. I have been having dreams- some made up and some memories- since I told Niall I was done.

Since he called me a whore.

That was a week ago, and in that week I have been trying to make my relationship with Grant work. Aliyah told me there was no point, because I didn't love him and I knew I never could. I knew she was right, but that didn't stop me from still doing it. It has proven to be easier said than done, especially since all I could think about was Niall. How Niall kissed better, how he cuddled better, how he took me on better dates, how he knew me better, how much better he was in bed.

That last one has proven to be the most difficult.

I dodged sleeping with Grant as much as possible. And the times that we actually did, no matter how hard I forced myself to enjoy it, I couldn't it. The only times I could feel myself getting turned on is when I thought of Niall; how'd start off by teasing me with his fingers until I was dripping and desperate for his touch. Then he'd position himself at my entrance, making me promise to be good, something I hated. He'd start off slow. He always did. Hold my hips down until I was breathless and slowly coming undone for him. His lips attacking my neck, whispering how good I felt around him, demanding me to come for him....

Fuck, he was way better than grant.

I actually considered telling Grant I was asexual, just to avoid sleeping with him. Aliyah glared at me when I suggested it and then proceeded to slap me clear across my face for saying something "so fucking stupid" as she said.

"Babe?" Grant's voice beside me startled me, even more so when his hand soothingly ran up and down my arm.

"You ok?"

"Yeah- I'm fine. Just a bad dream," I choked out, trying to erase my mind of the erotic thoughts I had earlier.

"Don't worry; I'm here..." he mumbled, kissing my cheek before drifting off.

I stayed up, thinking about the mess I had gotten myself in.

****

The week after that was the same; me forcing myself to be happy with Grant, Aliyah telling me to end things with him, and me not listening. Louis stopped by my house a couple of times, pleading with me to talk to Niall.

"I know that he was a downright ass to call you that. But, please, just talk to him. He feels terrible..." he would say.

Each time I would tell him no; that I didn't care if Niall felt terrible, because he had brought it on himself. You didn't call someone something as vulgar as that one minute, and regret the next. My answer would make Louis sigh and run a hand through his hair before nodding.

"Obviously I can't force you to do it. But just consider it. You said it yourself; you still love him. And trust me, he still loves you."

I hated knowing Niall was hurting. But it was his own fault. If he hadn't said what he said we could've resolved everything then, and most likely been together. I would have broken up with Grant without a second thought, and we would have been happy. Of course, it could never just be this easy for us; it always had to be difficult. I shook my head of my thought and tried to focusing on the words in my book rather than this whole mess. I sat on the couch in my living room across from Grant, who was flipping through the channels on the TV.

He got bored of that after a while, and turned the TV off before I felt his eyes settle on me.

"Good book?"

"Mmhmm." I mumbled.

He didn't say anything for a while, before he chuckled. I looked up from my book with my eyebrow raised, to see Grant smiling and shaking his head.

"What?"

"Just the way you look when you're reading. You look so into it; like your attached to characters and can feel their emotions."

"It's the best way to read; makes you grasp it better." I shrugged.

"I wouldn't know. I don't like to read. This is fine since you read enough for the two of us..."

"Ha-ha," I replied, playfully rolling my eyes.

Grant chuckled. "It's okay. It's just one of the many reasons why I love you."

I felt my heart stop at his words. And not in the good way. I was pretty sure my eyes were bugging out my head at the moment. I knew that he loved me; he told me on our date weeks ago when he thought I was sleeping. But I didn't think he'd actually tell me to my face; not like this at least.

"What?"

Grant chuckled nervously, scratching his neck as a slight blush appeared on his cheek.

"That sounded a lot smoother in my head, believe me. But- I do love you, Daniella."

And that was all it took. Tears I've been holding back for two weeks now began streaming down my cheeks as I bit my lip, shaking my head. He couldn't love me; not when I was unconditionally in love with another guy; one I was sleeping with for a month and a bit.

"Hey...what's wrong?" Grant frowned, reaching over to rub my leg only to have me move his hand.

"I- I don't deserve you." I cried. "You deserve a good girl who is completely into the relationship and can love you back. That's not me. I'm so sorry."

"What do you mean? What's going on Daniella? "

I knew I'd have to tell him then. Everything. There was no point continuing our relationship when I wasn't fully in it, just Aliyah had told me. I took a deep breath, wiping my eyes.

"I have to tell you something."

The next day....

To say he was pissed would be accurate. I had started off by telling him about Niall and i's relationship, how it ended, how I still loved him without realizing it. I had told him the week he went to visit his parents was the first time I slept with Niall.

"Wait. So while I was out the country missing you, you were sleeping with your ex." He had said flatly.

I told him how sorry I was; How bad I felt for doing this to him. This led to him asking how long this has been going on for. I answered him, causing him to run a hand through his hair, mumbling "fucking hell" under his breath.