Time Is Cruel

Scream

There I was again, back to the state I was, almost 8 years ago....but this time, it was not the world's fault.
It was mine.
It was my fault because I actually thought that things were going to get better after meeting Nico.
It was my fault for being so naïve.

I threw my bag at the front of the door, went to the kitchen to grab a bag of chips, then went straight up to my room. That day, I went home early because, I couldn't even look at Nico after the drama that happened in the bathroom earlier.

Hours and hours passed by with me, in my room, blankly staring at the ceiling, not even looking at the TV which was streaming a muted Rick and Morty episode in the background.
Everything was quiet....not peaceful in the slightest...but quiet, until my bedroom door suddenly opens making me flinch a little.
It was Nico.

Aren't you coming for dinner? He said not even saying a word about me skipping the rest of the day, unlike the usual.

Tell your mom thank you, but I'll be leaving for work in like 10 minutes so... I said not even looking at him.

You don't work today. He busted me.

Then I'm not hungry. I replied, not even trying to prove him wrong.

Why are you acting like this? He said as he sat on the bed.

Like what? I'm not acting like anything. I said in a monotone voice, still not looking at him.

Would you look at me when I'm talking to you?! That's disrespectful! He said as he grabbed my chin with his hand and turned my head towards him.

I don't fucking care. I said, returning my gaze toward the ceiling.

Are you serious right now?! He said, chuckling sarcastically.

You promised me.

That promise was never broken.

BUT IT WILL BE! I screamed at him, making him flinch back a tiny bit.
YOU, MOM, DAD, GRANDMA, ALL OF YOU! YOU ARE ALL LIARS! THEY ALL LEFT ME IN THIS FUCKED UP WORLD AND YOU WILL AS WELL!

FOR FUCKS SAKE, WILLIAM! THIS WHOLE WORLD IS NOT CIRCLING AROUND YOU!
HAVE YOU EVEN ASKED ABOUT HOW I FEEL?! ABOUT HOW MOM IS FEELING?!
HAVE YOU EVEN ASKED WHAT KIND OF DISEASE I HAVE?!
HAVE YOU EVEN ASKED IF THERE IS EVEN A FUCKING CURE?!
No.
Because you only care about your fucking self.
Nico rarely ever cursed...so...that meant that all he said was the truth.
Well if that's what you only care about, then have fun living your life on your own.
He said as he slams the door behind him.

The moment he did that, I felt this rage building up inside me that made me get up and smash the jar of water that was next to my bed. It's true that I was raging...but not at the situation.
I was raging at myself for being such an egotistical person all this time. Nico is the sweetest and most lovable person on earth. He had always been there for me. He always cared about everyone but himself....and...next to him, I was his exact polar opposite. I needed to change that.
I was not going to let him die...but NOT for my sake.... for HIS AND HIS MOM's.
I. Was. NOT. Going to let him die.

Few hours had passed, just to make sure he had calmed down.
I finally headed out to the house next door to makes things right once and for all.

I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty terrified of what I was going to do, and how I was going to explain it to Nicholas.

As I entered the house, I flinched a little to the sound that was coming from the living room.