Phil Lester
I woke up the next morning and immediately felt drained, I'll have to see Dan again today. It's only been 12 hours but miss him.
No you don't, Dan Howell is just your friend.
I looked over at Clara who was sleeping soundly in her underwear.
Am I really gay?
Usually I would see that and feel a need to make any sort of move, but this time, I felt different.
I felt like she wasn't someone I wanted to bang and more someone I wanted to give an extra blanket to.
My phones ring interrupted my thoughts, I quickly looked to see who is was, a picture of Dan popped onto the screen.
God I want to hear him screaming my name.
I answered it and his voice immediately made its self present.
"Phil! Can I pick you up for work today?" He's so confident even after thinking that I turned him down.
You did.
But I didn't want to.
"Yeah that'd be great Dan." I said in a whisper.
"Who's sleeping?" He asked chuckling after.
If I'm really gay I won't tell him the truth.
"No one," I said my voice now raised. "Can you be here by nine-ish?" I looked at the clock, eight-fifteen. Plenty of time.
"Course see you then."
"Bye Dan." He hung up first. In an instant I went onto Facebook,
Facebook stalking a very good hobby of mine.
All his photos were beautiful, he always looked beautiful.
I'm giving up.
I can't ask him out for a lot of reasons now, firstly I'm in a four year relationship with a girl. Second, I already turned him down and made him feel embarrassed. Lastly, I just realized myself, I do not want to tell anyone anything until I'm ready.
I could cheat.
Cheat on Clara.
Which would make me a shitty person and ruin most things I have going for me.
He was so beautiful, and we had many common interests.
Would I really pass up a possible soulmate opportunity? Now that I think about it I've always liked boys better, I've always thought I'd been attracted to girls but I would never want to spend time with them unless we were, well, y'know.
But with Dan I don't just want to spend all my time with him, I want to fuck him to.
After a while of back and forth thoughts I settled on something while straightening my tie.
I'm sorry Clara.
YOU ARE READING
Kisses in the dark // phan
Fanfiction"Phil, who's Dan?" Clara asked angrily. "There's something I need to tell you." Phil said running his hand through his hair. Phil knew this would all fall down. As long as he doesn't lose Dan, he'll be okay. Will he lose Dan?
