♣ MINT ♣

ii)

The drive just took approximately 6 hours and

a half before we reached my grandmother’s

place, the tall shady trees that was looming

along the highway, the smell of pines that

calms my nerves everytime I go here, the cold

gust of wind that is more welcoming than my

mother’s fake embrace. As we approach the

old house where my mom grew up a soft smile

crept to my face as I saw my grandma, my

dear old grandma who is kind enough to be

with me, who is kind enough to make me feel

loved, to make me feel how it feels like to

have family even if with just her presence. I

usually go here, every summer just to escape

from my parents, and she always welcome me

with her arms wide open asking for a hug.

“Nana!” I shouted as soon as I got down

from the car and hugged her tightly. Yes, I

call my grandma Nana, she doesn’t want to be

called Grandma coz it makes her feel old.

“____-ah” she softly said, “how was your

ride?”

“It’s fine, Nana” I said as I casted a glance

at my mom.

“Mom, I’m sorry but I need to leave _____

under your care again..” mom said in an

apologetic voice, “Henry and I, we’ve been

sailing roughly during these years and..”

“Jessica..” Nana said while she touched mom’s

hands, “I know..and I understand..”

“Mom, just take good care of her, I’ll be back

for her once I find myself..” Mom said as she

took out the last of my bags out from the

trunk.

“Find myself..” I whispered enough for Nana

to hear, “do you need a map or something..”

I added while I rolled my eyes earning myself

a glare from Nana telling me to shut my trap.

As soon as mom drove away, Nana took me

inside, well right after I argued with Nana

because I carried all five of my bags by

myself, I wouldn’t let Nana carry these

monstrosities.

“You’re free to cry..” Nana said as she

hugged me tightly, indeed Nana knows what I

feel, what I truly feel, I may sound tough, I

may also sound arrogant but there’s still this

child in me that wanted my parents to love me

and to still be together, I cried, right in

front of Nana, shouting my lungs out.

“Your parents love you ____-ah” Nana said as

she soothed my back. “They just don’t know

how to say it and show it, but they do, they

are just under the phase of knowing what

they really want..”

“But Nana..they..” I managed to say between

my sobs, “they just started to act like that

when Ethan died.”

“Your parents blamed themselves for loosing

your brother, they..”

“They loved him more..he’s the only child that

they see, he’s perfect. In their eyes he’s the

only child that they need.”

“No..no..shush..it’s not that…they..they

were just afraid that if they allow you to

grow up like your brother, they might loose

you just like how they lost him..”

“Nana, didn’t they even think about it twice?!

That they’ll loose me in the process of finding

themselves! In their way of coping up with my

brother’s death?! Nana it’s been 10 freaking

years! They’ve long forgotten that I exist!”

Nana closed her eyes, and just continued to

hug me tightly. “You have me..”

“I know Nana, and you’re more than

enough..” I muttered as I calmed down. “I’ll

be fine, just give me some time to sort things

out..”

“If you still need someone to cry on and to

lean to..I’m still here..” Nana said while she

smiled sweetly and told me to wash up and fix

myself before dinner starts.