The Icon Unbound

Chapter Nineteen, Part B - The Icon

A brief history of our Icon revealed. I'm not sure I like it. I crave your suggestions. 

"Let's get in please," Rigel said. "We can sort this out tomorrow. Saints."

As the train continued to pick up speed the long car began to sway very gently. Corwin, who had come this way before, guided them to the next connecting cart which housed little berths.
Each narrow door enclosed a room that had a tiny shelf for a bed, a dainty washstand, and a chair. A small window let in predawn light.

She and Nadir took the first available space while the others moved on. The drakys could barely fit on the tiny floor, but he curled up nose to tail and drifted instantly to sleep, shutting out the possibility of conversation. For a moment or two she watched him doze, his claws extending and retracting in his sleep just the way a contented cat's would. He had never doubted her capabilities, her intentions. Since the day he had curled at her side to warm her as she lay in a pool of blood he had never wavered in his belief that she was the ideal Icon.

Perfect now she was fighting tears.

Which lead her right back to the problem that kept her from sleeping.

Today had confirmed her suspicions beyond any doubt.

She was unbound.

Of course, she had suspected before now. All that time as they moved down the mountain, every time she had used her heart, she had felt herself starting to... feel.

At first she had been unable to articulate the sensations that flooded her. Becoming the Icon had not stripped her of her basic humanity, she had never stopped feeling, but it had prevented her from being driven into making irrational decisions.

Somehow leaving waterwall had broken what held her in restraint, keeping her from corruption. Now she felt naked before the world. Would her binding return, once she was within her borders? She had tried swearing the oaths again, but to no affect, all the feelings remained. If anything they got stronger.

Panic made her limbs shake and her breath come in pants. She clutched the thin sheets, and forced her head onto the pillow. Fear she knew, guilt she knew, but what could prepare her for crippling panic?

She slipped out of bed, careful to avoid Nadir, who took up almost every inch of available floor space. Closing the door behind her, she reached out with her other hand to find the wall. Her bare feet made no noise on the carpet, but she had no doubt as she passed the numbered door to Saiph's room that he knew she stepped past his door. He did not follow her.

At last she reached the final compartment, where they had entered only an hour or so before. The door Nadir had struck did not fit properly, and night air whistled through the cracks. It felt delicious on her skin, and she wanted more. With a small shove, the door opened again and she went outside to the rail and let the wind toss her hair about. Leaning her arms on the metal railing, she craned her neck to see the trees and round hills whip by at amazing speed.

The world had moved forward while Waterwall had remained behind, steeped in tradition, safe...and unchanging.

A soft voice behind the door made her start.

"What are you doing here little girl?" the Chosen's voice cut through the peace like a knife.

The Icon startled and swung around.