Chicago PD (3x17) Just got to hold on

Chapter 2

Jay must of broke almost every driving law to get to his apartment in the time he did. "I'm fine" he thought, is that all I could come up with.

When he managed to open his apartment door he looked over at the kitchen and saw the bottles of whiskey, vodka and beer that were left over from last Friday when Erin came over after work. He didn't want to go back into the dark pit but the offer was to tempting. He could no longer resist. Drowning his feelings seemed like the best option and so he did. Jay didn't really want to fall asleep as all he saw was the faces of his men who died and would wake up. He had only managed two hours before it was unbearable. Jay was sweating and clawing at his sheets when he awoke. His head was pounding, probably from all the alcohol last night. As he looked for his phone he noticed that it was only two in the morning. He would be in work by six anyway to catch up on paperwork and he didn't really want to go back to sleep. Watching TV it was.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Mouse stayed at work thinking about what Erin had said "you seem to be the only one he will talk to." Maybe Jay was fine and would be his usual self again. Sharp, focused and dedicated to the case. At least that's what Mouse could only hope.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Erin was walking into work at seven when she heard "Lindsay" being called from upstairs. She didn't need to look to know that the voice belonged to Hank Voight. All she could do was follow hi into his office passing Jay as they went who just looked down at his computer.

Voight got straight to the point. "What's up with Halstead? Platt said that he got here around six and I was here at quarter past six and all he has been doing is staring at his hands."                              "He probably came in early to write the report from yesterday." Erin replied.                                            "OK I trust you but I do not want to send him out in the field when he is this distracted so if there is anything else."                                                                                                                                                                     Erin cut him off and said "He told me he is fine and I promise I will keep an eye on him." Voight just huffed and looked at the others who had now turned up and looking confused. "What was that about?" Ruzek asked.                                                                                                                                                  "Nothing." Erin said looking at Jay.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

They did not have a case today as everybody needed to do a report on what happened yesterday. Everybody was just sitting at their desks trying to concentrate, especially Mouse. He couldn't help but keep looking at Jay who had not written anything in the past ten minutes.

It must of been twenty minutes when Jay stood up and gave Voight his report. He did get a head start and started at six and it was now nine. As soon as he handed his report to Voight he headed for the locker room. Only Mouse had seen the slight tremble of his hands and was now worried.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Jay ran to the locker room. All the events of yesterday bringing back old memories. The tears started rolling and he couldn't stop them. He felt completely helpless. His breathing started to get heavy. That was when Mouse walked in. "Hey Jay it's OK. I'm here just breath." Mouse started to do breaths for Jay to follow. After a couple of minutes his breath evened out and he started apologising to Mouse. "It's OK Jay. Just talk to me."                                                                                              "I can't!" Jay shouted before he ran off, grabbing his jacket before heading out.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Everybody looked at Erin who shrugged and looked at Mouse. "He just needs, needs to be alone." Mouse said.                                                                                                                                                                "I don't know what is going on but I've known him for a while and him walking out is never good." Antonio said. " I just have to make a quick call." Lindsay said. She went into the break room and hoped he picked up.

Ring, Ring! You have reached the voicemail of Will Halstead please leave a message. "Hey Will it's me Erin. I was wondering if you have heard from Jay I don't think he is doing too good. Please call me back." She just hoped that Jay will be okay.