Captain Swan - The Writings On The Wall

Numb The Pain

"So, Liam and I won't be there for the rehearsal dinner, but we'll definitely be there for the wedding Saturday," Elsa told Emma, pulling her from her thoughts as they walked down the hospital halls in their blue scrubs. Ever since her and Killian broke up six weeks ago, she had been in a state of depression, barely speaking to her friends. Normally, when she was down like this, she had Killian there to tell her that everything would be alright, but now that she had lost not only the one guy she's ever loved and been in a relationship with, she also lost her best friend... and it hurt. It hurt her so much, she didn't think she would ever get through this. But somehow she managed to hold all the pain and hurt inside. Somehow, she had to make it through her days with a brave face. She spent most of her time working and helping her sister plan her wedding in an attempt to take her mind off of him.

"What are you doing tonight?" she asked Elsa.

"We're going to the charity event at the agency. Remember I told you a few weeks ago?"

"Oh, right," Emma murmured, a solemn look on her face. Killian held it every year to raise money for the children but she was too busy thinking about how much she missed him. She had to avoid any interactions with him since he told her they shouldn't see each other anymore. As hard as it was, she wanted to obey his wishes. She also missed Adam and Ava, although she had visited them a few times when Killian wasn't there and she took them to Granny's for ice cream while she had hot cocoa and cinnamon. Granny was no longer there because she had finally retired, but it was still Emma's favorite place to go and have a cup of hot chocolate.

"Liam wanted to go but I don't have to go if you don't want me to..."

"No, it's fine. You should go."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, definitely. Don't worry about it. I'll see you Saturday."

Elsa looked at her friend, unconvinced but she reluctantly accepted her answer before they parted ways.

*****

Fourteen years ago...

Emma placed her bag on her new bed and sat next to it. This house was strange. It was tidy and inviting. There was a welcome mat at the front door and family photos on the wall. It was quiet and just overall homey. Being in crowded foster homes and an Orphange, she was not used to this. Although, sharing a room with someone else was not new to her, she still felt out of place. And her parents were so friendly and welcoming, it was all too much. In fact, she decided to stay in her room and keep to herself for the most part.

She felt bad because these people took her in and gave her a home, but still, it didn't feel like her home. Then again, there was no place that felt like home, there was only one person. Killian was her home. And goodness did she miss him. She missed their chats in the closet and how he always knew how to make her feel better when she was feeling down. She missed his blue eyes and his smile and just everything about him. Since her first day at the Nolan household, she spent most of her time in the closet, knowing that he was doing the same at Neverland. She knew her new parents were concerned about her, but they were kind enough to give her space.

Two weeks had passed since she first arrived and she still stayed in her closet while the rest of the household had dinner. She was hungry, but really wasn't in the mood for socializing. Since the first night, Lily would bring a plate of food for her and left it on the nightstand. Emma ate if after she left and then went right back into the closet. This particular night, however, she was not inclined to eat and the plate was left on the nightstand untouched. The ache from not being able to see Killian was just too overwhelming.

"Emma."

She heard a knock on the closet door, along with a soothing voice, forcing her to look up from having her face in her arms that rested on her knees.