Lunch (BBS x reader)

A Memory That Will Never Be Forgotten

BEEP...

BEEP...

BEEP...

BEEP...

I sat there for a month, waiting for her to wake up.

BEEP...

BEEP...

BEEP...

I waited for her eyes to open, just so I could see them one last time.

BEEP...

BEEP...

I waited for the day to jump into her arms and tell my best friend how much I missed her.

BEEEEEEEE...

But it never happened.

The moment I heard that never ending beep, I knew it was over. I knew I lost my best friend and I knew it was my fault. Yes the boys took it too far, but I was the one who started it all.

She didn't blame me though-in fact, she didn't even blame the boys nor the war; she blamed it on herself.

How do I know? She left a note:

Dear (hopefully) Y/n,
I'm sorry you had to see me like this, but I couldn't take it anymore.
I'm not talking about the war, I'm talking about it all: School, home, relationships, all of it.
All I ever wanted in life was for people to look at me and think 'She's so cool' or 'She's so pretty' but no one looked at me like that until you came along. I just want to say thank you Y/n, for making me feel great; for making me feel pretty; for making me feel wanted.
Don't blame yourself for this, it wasn't you, it was me and my feelings. I love you Y/n, you were like the sister that I always wanted. ~Love,
Shyanne

I bawled and whaled every night for Shyanne, but I knew she was gone. That was the only way I slept; I cried myself to sleep.

The funeral was awful. I had to stay by the boys because almost everyone else did blame me; the only ones who didn't were the boys, her mom and my mom.

Everyday the boys would come over and just sit with me, making sure I didn't dehydrate from my tear flow or do something stupid. Some days we all just sat and didn't say anything. There were other days were we would sing her favorite songs, talk about how she acted, or how she laughed.

But to me, those are memories that I will never be able to forget. I will never forget her beautiful icey eyes; her hilarious and charming laugh; her usually tangled, long brown hair...I can never forget that.

She was always on my mind, and if she wasn't, I'd be lost in thought. I just couldn't comprehend the fact that if I text her, she won't reply; if I call her, she'll never answer; if I showed up at her house, she wouldn't be there; if I go to school, she won't make my day better.

It's been four months, and I always refused to go to school. Yeah, basically I dropped out, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. My mom even got fined, but she took them to court because she didn't want to deal with it. She won because I agreed to start school online.

The boys went to school still,-except for Korban and Chris- but the moment school got out, they'd be in my bedroom, listening to me cry while they did their homework, crying as well.

Believe it or not, but I think the boys took it worst than I did. It might've just been in my eyes, but they would cry whenever someone said her name. I mean I would too, but they're guys, they usually don't cry in front of people.

Everyday we'd all be in the same spot:

-Johnathan would sit in front of the door

-Rowan would sit on the window ledge

-Evan would sit on an old foot rest

-Korban would lean against a wall, not sitting for hours

-Arlan would sit on my old toy box

-Chris would lay on the beanbag chair

-Tyler would sit on the foot of the bed

-Luke would sit at the head of the bed

-Brock would sit in the corner

-Craig would lay on the floor and put his feet on the wall

-Lui would sit in front of the TV and mess with the cabinets

-Daithi would sprawl out on my small, furry rug

-Marcel would always sit right next to me

-I'd sit in front of my bed

However, something occurred to me one day: Shy would've hated it if she knew we stayed inside all day, just mourning about her.

"Do you guys wanna go for a walk?" I asked.

They all turned to me.

"What?" Brock asked.

"Do you guys wanna go for a walk?"

They all were silent for the longest time and just looked at each other with the same is-she-serious face.

I stood up, "Come on, we're going for a walk."

I walked to the door and waited for Jonathan to stand up so I could open it.

He soon did, along with everyone else. I opened the door open as we walked outside.

We walked all over town and every where we went, every place reminded my of Shy.

She's just a memory that I'll never forget, and that's good because that's how you know someone was or is important to you. The more I walked, the more I realized how much she impacted my life and I love to know I did the same for her.

I explained this to the guys, and they agreed. We may or may not of drove Shy over the edge, but we all like to think that we were there for her and she was there for us.

Thank you, Shyanne.