Letters Unsent | {Collateral Beauty entries}

A Letter to Death

Hello, Death.

From a tender age, I've learned the concept of you; however, I never truly did understand. My little mind could comprehend the fact that, someday, I'd never come back. But I could never wrap my head around the fact that you were taking (and will be taking) beloved people away from me, one by one.

Until one day, I finally understood. And I was so scared of you. I'd cry at night, when I'm left alone to fend off my darkest thoughts. And just under all the fear and desperation, was a sprinkle of despise. I hated that you were inevitable, that you would eventually take away everyone I love. I hated that, one day, you'd have to take me too, that I'd have to meet you.

And then I grew older, learning so much more in life. And no longer was I so afraid of you; I was fascinated. In a way, I felt comforted by you, in stark contrast to when I was younger.

I have to admit, I'm still scared, but not exactly of you. I'm scared of wasting my life before I fall back to you and of what happens after. Anyways, that's for another time. I wonder, where do you take someone when they return to you? I suppose you couldn't tell me even if you wanted to.

So far, for people I've met, you are either a sensitive topic, a scary topic, an uncomfortable topic, a fascinating topic, a hopeful topic, or simply unimportant. I hope the latter didn't offend you. For me, your topic falls under all of these. It really just depends on my mood.

Speaking of moods. I know it sounds strange, but sometimes, I think you leave clues when you're around. How the sky is a mix of sunlight and grays, how the mood seems to shift constantly, or simply, the feeling of something out of place. I've noticed them, and it never fails to intrigue me.

Honestly, I don't really know what else is left to say.

I just hope that it wouldn't be a bad time when we finally meet.