Not an Epilogue

Schrödinger was welcoming Oppenheimer. He had invited several colleagues of his, some close friends, others just acquaintances, to his home.

‘Hello Robert, come in.’

‘Hi, Schrödinger. So, what’s all the fuss about?’

‘I think I’ve made a huge breakthrough.’

‘Hope it’s legal, this time.’ They both laughed loudly.

‘I missed your humor Robert, do come in, the others have already arrived.’

Schrödinger led Oppenheimer to the dining room. Three gentlemen were already seated and drinking, and they were all so focused on what the grey-haired man was saying that they didn’t see the two men entering the room. Not until Oppenheimer said, ‘Hello, my good friends, I hope you haven’t emptied Schrödinger’s alcohol cabinet.’

‘Almost, almost, my friend Robert,’ said Fermi, still seated with his back towards Schrödinger and Oppenheimer. Einstein chuckled.

‘Vee vere just talkink about zat, Robert.’

‘Yes, vee were,’ said Bohr.

‘Don’t make fun of him Niels.’

‘I vasn’t,’ replied Bohrs, giving Einstein a pat on the back. All five men were now laughing. A woman came into the room.

‘Hello, my beautiful Annemarie, how are you?’ said Oppenheimer, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

‘Very well, thank you. Let me take that for you,’ and she held out her hand for his grey overcoat, which he was still wearing.

‘Zilly man, shtill vearing his coat,’ Einstein said while raising his glass for a toast with Fermi.

The two men still standing sat down and Schrödinger asked his wife what was for dinner. She smiled and said it was a rabbit stew.

‘Most excellent, my dear.’

‘Vonderful,’ said Einstein.

‘Indeed, Albert, on this I can agree with you,’ replied Bohr.

Annemarie left the room and Fermi quickly added, ‘Just hope it isn’t cat, for in a Schrödinger’s home, one can never know whether it is truly cooked or not. At least, not until one opens the pan.’ The remaining gentlemen in the room laughed and he continued. ‘But what was the urgency Schrödinger? What is so important we needed to get here so quickly?’

‘My dear friends and esteemed colleagues, I have proof of the wave collapse.’ A general gasp rippled around the room.

‘Oh, not this again,’ said Fermi, incredulous of his colleague’s statement.

‘Now, don’t be like that Fermi, old boy, let’s listen to what he has to say,’ said Bohr.

‘Thank you, Niels, for the vote of confidence.’

‘Well, not a vote of confidence per si, more like morbid curiosity.’

‘Ja, ja. Vee vant to see zis silly idea of yours.’

After a very brief moment of pouting, Schrödinger continued, ‘I have found my cat, and it’s truly magnificent… I recently hired a personal assistant to deal with the minor tasks and he is remarkable.’

‘So, your assistant discovered it?’ interrupted Oppenheimer.

‘Shtealing is fery wrong my dear friend.’

‘No, no, no! On the contrary my personal assistant, Mr. Al, is quite an oaf, if there ever was one. He’s a very curious fellow. Always wears the same thing, a kind of uniform, white pants and a white shirt, and he has this nasty habit of rubbing himself in alcohol every time he finishes a chore. Almost caught fire once.’