The Cycle

Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Fiona Nixon

October 14- November 5

The bookstore in town was actually one of the best bookstores. Well, actually it was the ONLY bookstore in town. It was the only bookstore who lowered their prices for the best books. It was the only one where you could eat and read without paying. It was the only one where the owner would talk to you and invite you for some hot chocolate if ever it was winter. And it was, it was perfect.

We just stayed there all night reading books. He would sit infront of me and from time to time he would just look up from his book and look at me. I never really concentrated on the book. I was concentrating more and more on him.

I concentrated on every detail on his face. The way his eyelashes brushed against the rim of his reading glasses, the way he would keep his mouth open, the way he would cringe his eyebrows when he had a hard time understanding words, the way he asked me what they meant, the way he would look at me, the way his freckles were barely visible, the way his hair was messed up and it looked good, like an I-dont-care-but-I-do-care way. I concentrated on the way he tapped his fingers while reading, how he bit his nails. Was he really reading Charles Dickens?

I wonder if he thinks about me this way too. Does he?

"Ehem." I clear my throat and he doesn't even look up.

"Alec?" I say and his head jolts up as he closes the book.

"uh.. Yeah? I can't believe someone saw me reading.."

"Well then that must mean I'm special." I wiggle my eyebrows and laugh.

"Yeah, you are."

I can't help but feel a rush of blood flowing through my cheeks. I must be so red now.

"How did you get my number?" I ask suspiciously, still looking at my shoes hoping he won't notice i'm blushing.

"Hanna."

"Hanna? she gave you- my num-what?"

"I asked for it. Actually, I begged for it." he lets out a chuckle.

"Why would you?"

"Because, it's not everyday you see a beautiful girl."

GOD DAMN IT WHY DID HE HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME.

"Hey are you done with your book?" he asks me.

"Uh. Not really.. I'm still somewhere in the middle."

"I'll buy it for you, then."

"No, no you don't have to." I say shyly.

"Yes, I want to."

Finally, I had to give in. What's the use of arguing with Alec Anderson anyway?

He bought the book for me and he brought me home.

"Today was fun." he smiled at me.

"Yeah, it was." I smile back.

He leans in and gives me a kiss. Woah thereee you don't expect that on a first date, now do you?

My first kiss. Well, atleast my first ACTUAL kiss. Most of them were sloppy or wer and very very wrong, but this, it was perfect.

At night, I mysteriously find myself thinking of him and hugging my book, 'This is what Happy Looks Like', tight.

---

So, yes, we both liked each other. It started at the 14th of October.

Everyday, he was sweet and clingy and super confident with everything he did. He told me he loved me, he'd never leave me and he told me promises that made my heart go thump. And I instantly fell for it. I gave up my first 'I love you' to him. We went out a couple of times too, but so far, our favorite place was that bookstore.

We talked about the stupidest things, and I told him secrets no one ever knew. I trusted him. I trusted that he wouldn't use these secrets against me. I even told him about that box my mom used to keep, and inside it was her barbie doll, I awfully wanted to play with it. She would always say it was fragile, precious and it might've broke in respond to the slightest touch. No one knew about this, just me and my mom. And well, him since I told him.

About 5 days before the school was about to start once more, we stopped communicating. And the day before the start of school, we talked. Just a simple 'hi'. No smileys, no sweet quotes, no Alecander Anderson, the boy who used to tell me about his life and secrets. We conversed more and more and I knew he changed. I told myself it was nothing, and I shouldn't bother. Probably not in the mood.

I asked him after the first day of school, if he still loved me.

And he told me, "I don't know anymore. Sorry."

I found out he also my so-called-friend at the same time we were together. I didn't blame Hailey. No big deal, I was just a new piece in his game.

But it struck me, It was a BIG deal.

And just like that, I realized like the doll, I should've left my fragile heart in the box.