A Heart in Flames #2 (Howl's Moving Castle fanfiction)

Chapter 12: Lost and Found

The castle's atmosphere was uncomfortable and confining. Sophie thought the walls were closing in on them, shrinking the space they had and pushing everyone closer. She thought eventually, they would all diminish into nothingness, free from the distress and anxiety in the room. Her mind wrapped around what they had just witnessed, wishing things had turned out differently.

When they returned, Calcifer was a frantic mess. "Why didn't you stop her?"

He looked around the room, not one person daring to look him in the eye. Kenta swallowed hard before answering, a cloud of guilt waving over the grim wizard. "Noe had already disappeared before we could get to her. We followed them as far as we could, but she's a very skilled witch and knew exactly how to evade us."

Kenta pressed two fingers against his lips, staring off into the distance and internally beating himself for such careless mistakes. The Witch of the Wastes held Heen in her lap, both gazing at the floor with melancholic eyes. Markl dropped to the ground, curling his arms around his knees and hiding his face. They could hear soft whimpers and sniffles, despite his attempt to conceal his sadness.

Howl held Sophie's shoulders as he stood behind the couch. Martha lay unconscious, her head resting on Sophie's lap. She ran her fingers through her sister's hair, yet she kept watch over Calcifer. Sophie was the only one brave enough to look him in the eye.

Calcifer looked at their wandering and hidden faces and his fire boiled. His flames sparked out sporadically in an unfamiliar rage. His anger had never reached this point where his flames burned so red he was a bloody rainstorm. He screamed and extended his flames outward, watching them spread across the room and burst into sparks of fire.

"Calcifer!" Howl shielded Sophie from the falling sparks, the others adjusting their position to avoid the tiny bits. A few sparks landed on Martha's cheek, the short bursts of extreme heat instantly waking her in shock. She slapped her face, attempting to wipe the pain away. She looked around the room, her mind racing.

Howl growled at the demon. "Calcifer, Sophie is too close. If your sparks fly out of control again, you could hit her or the baby."

"Well then maybe you don't need me!" Calcifer shouted. "Maybe I'm just a burden for you and for everyone else here. Maybe if I was a human, I could have saved Gwenda!" He held the grates tightly, his muscles flaming colors of reds and yellows and oranges. He wanted to throw something, anything. He wanted to scream and yell and punch himself for not being able to do anything to stop that wretched witch from taking the one person who was able to steal his heart.

Gwenda, the girl with the long, beautiful blonde hair that she always held back in a perfect braid. Gwenda, the girl who spent her nights talking to him and only him, who matched his humor and sarcasm in every word she spoke.

Gwenda, the girl who said he couldn't love anyone.

Calcifer desperately yearned to cry, to burst into a stream of tears and drown himself in sorrow. He had no tears; he was fire. He was made of flames and powered by firewood that he burned into ashes. Instead, his fire turned blue and his flames slowly retreated. He was consumed by grief and loss.

Sophie immediately recognized this state from when she poured water on him. At the time, she thought she had killed him with what she believed was his only weakness. However, this was not a result of dousing water. This was a heartbreaking torture.

She slowly stood up. Howl held her shoulder, but she gently removed his hand and walked over to Calcifer. She carefully brought her knees to the floor in front of him. He gazed at the floor, noticing her hand reach forward. "Calcifer, you've become very close to Gwenda, haven't you? You care a lot about her."

Calcifer shivered at the sound of her name, but he nodded. "If anything happens to her, it's my fault. It's all my fault."

"You can't blame yourself, Calcifer." Sophie said. "There was nothing you could do."

Calcifer's color returned and he glared up. "Exactly!" Sophie bent backward as his flames sparked once more, though she was unharmed. Howl moved around the couch, but Kenta waved his hand, holding him back with a restraining spell. Howl glared at the wizard from across the room as Kenta sent him a telepathic message to stay calm. Martha sat motionless, observing the events play out before her mind slipped away to a vision.

Calcifer sighed. "I'm just a simple fire demon. I can't do things like humans or other magicians. Move the castle, heat the baths, obey the commands of my master's every wish..."

Howl relaxed his muscles, and Kenta followed by relaxing his restraint. His anger subsided as he watched Calcifer and, for the first time, truly heard grief in his voice. "I'm a slave and I always will be. For once, I just wanted to touch someone without the fear of hurting them."

The castle was dead inside. Not a single sound disturbed the uncomfortable peace between the residents. This revelation of Calcifer's concealed feelings toward a human girl, whom he had only met a few months prior, was quite shocking to those whose minds had only perceived him as an uptight, sarcastic fire demon.

Kenta took a step forward. He cleared his throat. "We'll bring her back, Calcifer. I promise."

Calcifer nodded, continuously staring at everything but the human souls in the room. The log beneath him cracked in half, though with the amount of ashes built over time, it hardly made a difference. He reached for the next log, a pair of hands already there. Sophie offered the fresh firewood to him, and his fire grew from the new power source.

Howl took short steps toward Calcifer, bending down next to Sophie. His eyes exposed a vulnerability Calcifer remembered from a different time. When he chose to show them, Howl's emotions were still that of his childlike innocence to which he abandoned years ago. Calcifer knew Howl's heart more than anyone - probably more than Howl did. However, he had not expected Howl to show a cognizance of Calcifer's heart.

"I'm sorry I've been so hard on you." Howl pulled the corner of his lips upward, a light smile present. "Calcifer, you know that you've been my best friend for years now."

Kenta coughed with exaggeration against Howl's labeling of best friend. Howl turned to him, Kenta's gaze now roaming around. Howl rolled his eyes and continued. "I never thought of you as a slave. You were my companion when I needed guidance or support or just a friend to talk to. You've always had a special place in my heart."

Calcifer chuckled, a brief sign of contentment. "Probably because I was in control of your heart for years, huh?"

Howl laughed. "Maybe."

Martha stood up abruptly, all eyes turning to her. She rubbed her temple on both sides as she paced the floor, walking circles around the couch. Markl looked up from his crouched position. Heen raised his head to watch the little witch girl pace while the older witch stroked the back of his neck. Howl helped Sophie rise, both staring at Martha with concern.

"Martha?" Sophie asked. "What's wrong?"

Martha shot up to the group, slowly dropping her hands. "I just received a vision."

Calcifer widened his eyes. "Did you see Gwenda?"

Martha sighed. "No, I'm sorry. But I did see the witch who took her."

"Where was she?" Kenta asked.

Martha closed her eyes, reliving the vision. "She was flying alone. I could see the Wastes in the background, part of the mountains. I don't know where she was going, but she said something about making Suliman proud for taking Gwenda."

Calcifer seethed. "This is all a game to them. As if her life doesn't matter."

Martha walked around the couch, stopping in front of Calcifer. She held the concrete fireplace firmly, her eyes set on his. "We will find her and bring her back. We will not let them get away with this."

Howl and Kenta nodded, moving to stand next to Martha. Sophie helped Markl stand up, their hands intertwined. Heen jumped off of the Witch's lap and ran between Martha's legs, wagging his tail. The Witch rolled her eyes and pushed against the chair's arms, making her way to the fireplace. Calcifer smiled, the support of his family encouraging him not to give up on Gwenda.

He closed his eyes. I will find you. I will not rest until I find you again.