Not So Happily Ever After

Chapter 4

"Scott, can I borrow your face? My ass is on holiday." haha, I'm so funny! And drunk, I think. I don't know anymore! Don't look at me like that!

"Can I visit Spongebob now?" He promised to visit me!

"Kenzie, you're so drunk."

"Na-uh! I'm awesome! You wouldn't know what it feels like."

"Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! Spongebob squarepants!"

"What am I going to do with you?" What's his face mumbled. He thinks I can't hear him. I have vampire hearing!

"I'm a vampire! I'm coming to bite you! Hahahahaha!" I'm so cool!

"Oh my god." Won't he shut up?

"Shut up Mr-I-hate-vampires! You just hate me 'cause I have powers! I can snap your neck!" They see a vampire rollin' , they hatin'.

"'Cause I'm superman! Look I can fly!" I jumped off ready to fly.

"Kenzie no!"

"Ow, my face hurts. The ground's so hard. I'm on chocolate! I can walk on chocolate! I'm living Homer Simspons' dream!" Homer ball would be so jealous. The Simpsons'. I need to visit them again, see how Lisa's doing. And Spongebob!

"Kenzie, the Simpsons' are cartoons, you can't visit them."

You're in my head! Get out!

"No, you're thinking out loud." He's such an idiot. He can't accept his gift.

"What gift?" See? He's in my head! His vampire power is awesome. He can read minds! I'm just Superman. Wait, I'm Superman!

"Kenzie, I'm not a vampire." Not yet.

"Dude, get here right now! I need to show you something." I shrieked. This will be like taking candy from a baby.

"What is it Kenz- ow! What the hell?" That dude yelled holding his neck.

"You said you aren't a vampire so I made you one. You're welcome, newborn." I made a vampire! Oh yeah, happy dance, happy dance, oh yeah.

"Kenzie, stop dancing."

"Happy dance, happy dance." Did he say something?

"Honey boo boo!" He yelled from the floor. He knows her? OMG!

"No stupid. I called you that."

"Why? Cause I'm so smexy?" I'm more beautimous than Mama June! Oh yeah.

"Oh good heavens, save us all!" What's he going on about? Save us from what? My smexiness? I could ask mama June if I can share it.

"Kenzie, you're drunk. Get in the house."

"You'll never get me alive!" I started screaming bloody murder, I think I woke the  neighbours up. Who cares? I'm Superman!

"Mackenzie! You're gonna fall in the po-" Splash!

I'm in the pool! Woah, I teleported here. Wait, I can't breath! Why can't I breath?! Honey boo boo! Save me!

---

Beep, beep, beep.

"Shh." Why wont it shut up?

Beep, beep, beep.

"Scott. Off that." Stupid, annoying thing.

Ah! I have a pounding headache! What happened?

"She's awake!"

"Scott?" I ask, opening my eyes.

"I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have let you drink that much! I thought I lost you!" He shouted while hugging me. I drank? Okay, what the hell happened?

"Scott? Where am I? What happened?"

"You almost drowned." Drowned? Wait, Spongebob, Homerball, mama June. I remember. I can't believe I bit him!

"It's okay, Kenz." He's still in my head!

"No, I'll never get in that head of yours. Seeing that many thoughts anout me will drive me nuts."

"Why? Won't your pride be able to take all the insults?" I, sympathetically, asked.

"Honey, I'm smexier than Mama June!" He shouted with more sass than a gay teenager.

"Okay, Mr White. I'm sure you're 'smexier' than Honey boo boo's mother but I need to give Ms Greene her test results." Dr Carson said, walking in, reading a document on a clipboard.

"Oh my god! Hahahahaha!" I think I feel a six pack coming on, I'm laughing so much.

"Say doc, can we get her checked into the mental hospital?"