Doctor who?

Dog eat dog world

Most of the time, whenever someone asks me my age, I tell them the first number that jumps in my head. It's usually a number between 25 and 35. I tell my patients different ages all the time, and it kinda gets tough trying to keep up with it. That's why it's always good to master the quality of "Changing the subject." I'm like the Master of that. Whenever they attempt to ask me my age, I quickly switch topics and put the focus back on them. You might be wondering why I'm always bragging, but I can't help it. I finally managed to pull one over on the "Big Dogs" in society. You see, a long time ago when I was struggling to keep my lights on, every single Vermont business that I tried working for, ended up firing me and wasting my time. I never had shit growing up, and no one gave a fuck. So what did I decide to do? Pack my bags and do what they were doing. My parents were hard working citizens, they basically put their blood, sweat and tears on the table for me. So how do I repay them? I repay them by stepping on the necks of all those businessmen and women who were shitting on us our entire life. I decided I was gonna be a Psychologist and never look back.

Sometimes a patient might randomly ask about my 2016 grey Ferrari that's always parked outside my office. They usually ask what year I got it and I end up telling them I got it as a gift on my last birthday. Whatever day that was. You get the point. I basically get paid to sit here, and play with your mind a little bit for as long as I need in order to convince you to schedule another appointment with me in a couple weeks down the line. That way I'd have your ass paying me on a consistent basis. It's another one of my techniques called "Getting over." Most of the time I counsel other therapists from all over the world, teaching them how to dominate the mental health industry. Whenever I see my face on the cover of various Forbes magazines, it's brings tears of joy to my eyes. People actually look up to me. I get to help people all around the world by using tactics I practically came up with in my sleep.

As long as I was able to take a quick bathroom break, and sneak a shot of scotch in here and there, the work day didn't seem so bad. I mean nobody at the office really gave a shit about my habit. They sort of encourage it in a way. You see, here at this office, I'm like Malcolm X. I create a lot of havoc just to get people worked up. At the end of the day, if they decide to clock out early due to frustration towards me, I end up taking their patients under my wing which brings me more money. Gotta keep the lights on at the palace right.
It's a dog eat dog world, and if you don't learn how to run shit, you'll eventually end up on a leash in some guys filthy back yard...