Nobody

Chapter Two

Chapter Two (unedited)

"The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained"

Ammonia and death are the first two things I smell when I wake up. I know immediately that I'm in a hospital. I know the smell of death very well. I enjoy the smell, it smells natural. As if it was meant to be there. Some girls like the smell of boys and men's cologne, I love the smell of death. Its fascinating really. How people smell so raw and unclean as they go to meet their maker. You would think that the body would want to be pleasant when you go where you are destined to go. As I was thinking about that I guess someone realized I was awake, so people started walking in to see if I wa okay. I wasn't paying enough attention to make out what they were saying. Then the one person I was expecting walked in, Doctor Stephan Ashley.

To any normal girl, Doctor Ashley was the definition of a perfect man. Muscular build, tan skin, pretty boy face, tall and with a good job. But I saw him as an incarnation of the devil. Every time I saw him I had a new condition that he tried to medicate me for. I almost always refused treatment from him but my mom insisted that I see him. "Hello Darling," He said flashing me a smile, "what seems to have happened here? According to your chart someone called in that you were pacing back and forth on the edge of your apartment building." He took a pause to see if I would respond but I just stared ahead. He looked down at my arm and said, "Oh and I see you have colorful writing on your arm today, so why were you going to jump?" First off, let me explain one thing so that it's clear. The writing on my arm tells you my mood. Colorful means its a good day, red means its a bad day, and black means I want to kill myself. Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

"Okay listen here asshole, all I was doing was getting some fresh air and walking on a roof. There is no proof that I had ever had plans of jumping. Why do you think I came here willingly? I just want to go home now. Honestly, I need you to leave, right now because I cannot deal with you right now. Get me a nurse. My hand hurts. I punched a fucking wall because I didn't want to come here. Just get the fuck out of my face." Another "symptom" ,as Dr. Ashley calls them, is very rapid speech without stopping. So, by the time that I finished speaking, I was out of breath.

"Language young lady. How will you ever get a man to marry you with that tongue of yours?" He sighed a breath and I called for a nurse and one appeared almost instantly. I asked her to please make him leave because he was making me uncomfortable. She calmly told him he needed to leave and he got up and walked to my hospital room door. "Be careful next time Winnie, you could really hurt yourself." And with that he walked out. I hate being called Winnie. I hate being called anything that isn't my name. My mom told me my dad was gonna call me "Winnie", so I've alway hated the name. I could never even watch Winnie the Pooh after I heard that. I hate that therapist because my mom said he looked like my dad.

"Miss Blakewell? Your brother Jaden is here to see you." I instantly sit up and then regret it because a pounding goes off in my head. They must have put me on some sort of anti-psychotic because those alway give me migraines.

"Well go on, bring him in. I'm waiting. And call me Winter, not Miss Blakewell." I said it rather rude because I was having mood swings recently, (another symptom), but also because of that damn doctor and the fact that they gave me this medicine. I saw the nurse's face scrunch up when I said that and I almost felt bad, but then I realized she was probably the one who gave me the meds in the first place and I felt better for being rude. I saw the familiar boots and jacket he always wore and I felt more at home. Jaden walked into the room and gave me a big old smile. He sat down in the chair located next to the bed and gave my hand a squeeze. "Hey Winter." he said softly.