Daddy

Chapter 11

In the end, the doctor blamed Louis' current feelings on just giving birth and the shock of it all. He did, however, tell him that if the feelings continued, then he should definitely go speak to a psychiatrist or psychologist - whichever one he deemed fit. He also encouraged Louis to breastfeed for as much as he could as it would help with any post-partum depression that he might be suffering from. Harry stood beside his bed the entire time he spoke with Dr. Reynolds, making mental notes as well as watching the babies and making sure that they were still content. 

"You're going to be such a good mommy to them," Harry said fondly as they were eating dinner that night. There was still no sign of Tyler, so Harry bought them dinner, even though Louis did have dinner provided by the hospital while he was under their care. 

"Are you saying I'm not a good mother now?" Louis asked, mock-offendedly. 

"Definitely not," Harry denied immediately, "I don't want you to ever feel like that, do you understand me, Louis?"

"I can't help how I feel sometimes, Harry."

"I know you can't, but we can work together to keep you from feeling like that, don't you think?"

"H, we aren't together anymore. It's Tyler and I for now. Tyler and I are raising Bailey and Arabella, not you and I." 

"Oh yeah? Well, where the fuck is your beloved Tyler?!" Harry yelled. "Huh Louis?! Where is he?! You could be dead by now for all he knows and yet he's out doing whatever the hell fuckboys do!" 

"Please don't yell at me," Louis whimpered, tears already welling up in his eyes. When was he ever going to catch a damn break? 

There was a wail from the other side of the room where the babies had been sleeping - key word being had. Harry quickly moved over to the two bassinets were, picking up Bailey and cuddling him close.

"Where is Tyler when these babies are crying? Where was he when you had to tell the doctor that you felt the need to kill yourself or your babies? Where was he when you were wanting dinner from somewhere outside of the hospital? Lou, I've been more of a father to these babies and more of a significant other to you than Tyler has in these past few days. You've got to admit that at least," Harry said. He sounded upset and like he wanted to just cry. The tears were evident in his voice, and it hurt Louis more than he was willing to admit.

"Harry, you can't do this to me," Louis whispered.

"Do what? Force you to face the truth?" 

"Ask me to choose."

"I'd never ask you to choose, Louis," Harry said softly, holding the green pacifier in Bailey's little mouth as he waited for him to go back to sleep. 

"Then what are you doing now, Harry?"

"I'm just telling you the truth, Louis."

Louis shook his head and tried to blink away the tears, even though he failed, and turned over to face the wall instead of the man holding his child. He heard Harry set the sleeping baby in his bassinet, and he silently prayed that Harry would just leave now. Of course, Harry didn't leave. He wasn't going to leave until he got what he wanted, and what he wanted was an answer. He walked closer to the hospital bed that Louis occupied and sat down on the edge, laying a hand on Louis' hip. 

"You know, the last time I saw you before these few days, you were huge. You looked ready to pop, even though you  had a while to go before you actually had the babies. Sometimes, I would picture you being a mother, taking care of kids that would act just like you. I'd sometimes think about what it would be like to be a parent with you; to be there to help you relax after a stressful day, to help when one of them was ill, to help when you were ill, to come home and see you and our babies on the couch, and to just watch them grow old with you," Harry said.