Daddy

Chapter 14

"Baby, are you sure you don't want help today? I can take off work. Last night was rough for all of us," Harry asked when his alarm went off at a stunning 5:10 — which was completely unnecessary considering both men had been kept up all night by their lovely infants.

"I'll be okay I think. If I need help throughout the day, I can call the nanny or something. I don't want you to get too behind on your work, Daddy."

Harry shook his head, "Please call me before calling her. I feel bad that you feel like you can't call me home."

Louis sighed noncommittally, "I love you with my whole heart and none of us look into you not being here 24/7. I promise that this situation is okay and works. I also promise that if you don't cuddle me back to sleep, I will be very upset. So please make yourself useful and hold me while the babies sleep."

Harry nodded, kissing Louis' forehead and pulling the boy's body closer to himself, wrapping one arm around Louis' waist and leaving one to pet at Louis' soft, and slightly greasy, hair. When the breaths coming from the smaller boy grew softer and more even, Harry allowed himself to become detached. He missed holding his baby as soon as the warmth of him being pressed so closely was gone. But life must go on, he reminded himself.

Harry made his way to the bathroom, stripping and leaving his clothes in the hamper outside the door. He always did his best to make Louis' day to day life and self-given "chores" easier in any way. Making sure the water was warm enough, he stepped into the shower tiredly, almost slipping. When the hot water beat steadily onto his back, he couldn't help the moan that he let out.

This small pleasure reminded him of his beautiful little boyfriend, asleep for probably the third time in twelve hours. Harry was given the time to relax before coming home and was given the time to let the night's stress be washed out, the tension leaving him with a steady beat of hot water. Louis, on the other hand, was not afforded these nice things unless there was a nanny, if it was a weekend, or if the babies were giving him actual time during their naps. Granted, during their naps, Louis was generally tired enough to just crash with them.

Harry was stuck, though. Neither of them necessarily wanted their babies to know the face of a nanny more than they knew their parents. But Louis wasn't able to enjoy being a good mommy to his babies because of how absolutely drained he was. And Harry knew that if he stayed home with Louis and his children that Louis would think he was getting behind or that he was pitying Louis.

Rinsing his hair and body, Harry turned the water off and wrapped his towel around his waist after towel drying the rest of his body. Coming back into the bedroom, however, he saw Louis, who just looked absolutely peaceful and wonderful and like everything good in the world. Harry was hit by this old realization harder than he'd ever felt before and he wanted to cry. The air had been sucked out of him and he didn't want to move his eyes from Louis let alone leave the whole house to go be with thankless people who wouldn't give a fuck about him if he didn't win half of the cases he did.

He forced himself to move, though. He pulled on his usual suit to make himself look put together. He left his hair to do whatever it wanted to do while it dried and promised to try to fix it when he was getting closer to the time that he needed to leave.

He made breakfast for himself, but also left a yogurt parfait in the fridge and two waffles in the microwave to keep warm. Harry knew that Louis had been living off of Eggos and whatever else was super quick and easy to both make and eat in order to give his full attention to his babies. He thought he could hear Arabella coping down the hallway, so he went and checked on both her and Bailey, grabbing his briefcase and keys after putting her back to sleep in order to try to give Lou more time to get his rest in. Leaving the house as quietly as he could, he was startled by the odd feeling that was settling in his chest and stomach. He'd been leaving Louis with their little loves for almost six months and had never felt so.... bad.