Stories For A Rainy Day

Sleeping Softly While I Sing

I watch you sleeping so soundly in your bed, a faint smile touching my lips. I know you can't see me, but can you feel my presence? Can you tell that I'm there beside you through it all?... On the edge of the blade that you call life, can you hear me when I beg for you to hold on a little longer? When I plead for you to be strong? I know you get the gifts I leave in your path. The kitten that you found on your way home from school, the little one right there sleeping beside you purring ever so softly due to whatever dreams its having. I made sure you could hear its soft little cries of hunger and fear. I knew you would take it home with you and love it the way it needed to be. Or the soft scent of a perfume you almost recognize, a scent you can't quite put your finger on but it reminds you of happier times. Back when your life was simple, before all the pain dulled the color of your eyes to the world... The flowers, the random money you find in old jackets or that falls out of your jeans pocket when you do your laundry. 

How I wish that you could see me, that I could hold you and tell you that everything will be okay and that things will work out. I can only pray that you can hear me while I sing to you of happy things and better days to come. You sleep so peacefully while I sing to you and I see the smile touching your lips. Why can't you see me anymore my dear? We used to have such grand adventures when you were young. The games we played, the nights you had to pretend you were asleep when your parents heard you talking to me in the middle of the night. How you'd giggle once the door was shut and you heard your parents walk away. I always loved the sound of your laugh, so innocent and care free. What took that away? What took the sweetness and love from your heart? All I remember was one day, you were gone. You didn't return again until you were so much older. I couldn't follow you where you went so I stayed here and waited for you. I waited for you to come home and play with me again. I didn't understand why your parents cried whenever someone would mention your name. What did their words mean? Disturbed, sick, deranged... Insane... What did these all mean? I still have no idea though I have looked through the papers on your desk. I know you noticed, and I'm sorry for leaving them in such a mess. 

But you did return to me! So many years later, but you did and I was so happy! I went to hug you but you walked right past me. I thought you were upset with me for not going with you so I left you alone for the most part. But a few days later, I realized that it wasn't the fact that you were mad at me, it was that you couldn't see me anymore. I called out your name, I waved my hand in front of your face, I even threw a few of your stuffed animals across the room! I did everything I could to get your attention, but you just couldn't see me anymore... I cried. I broke down while watching you pack, sitting in the middle of your bedroom floor as you threw away so many of the old toys that you used to love so much... All neglected and thrown carelessly into a bag, only to be taken down to the trash the next morning. What could I do? I wanted to help you, to wipe your tears and to hold you tightly like I used to whenever you were hurt or scared, but my hand passed right through yours when I tried to touch you. I saw the way you shivered after that, the way you looked around for the invisible breeze that was surely the cause but of course it was me, though you would never know that. I followed you when you went to your car, listening as your parents begged you not to leave and apologized for sending you away. Where did they send you? Where did my little friend go for so long only to return as a dark hearted adult? I have to look through those papers again and try to make sense of them again...

I watch you wake and get ready for the day. You rush through getting dressed and getting ready to go out to wherever you go each day. I don't know if it's work or if it's to see a friend... I feel a frown cross my lips as you rush by me once more even though I try to say good morning once more. I wait until you're gone then pull the papers that you had brought with you when you moved to this small apartment you call home and flipped through them once more. Asylum, mentally disturbed. These are words I don't understand which upsets me. I want to help you but I don't know how. Then on the last few pages it all falls into place. You were sent away because your parents caught you talking to me and they thought you were crazy. They told you I wasn't real, that I was an imaginary friend and that you had to quit believing in me. You did. You stopped believing in me and agreed that I was never real. It hurts to see those words and I put the papers away once more, careful to put them back in the order that you had them in and in the same place so you wouldn't know they were messed with again. I didn't want to upset you again.

The years passed and I continued to watch over you, though you couldn't see me. I watched as you grew up, moved back into the house you grew up in, married, had children of your own. I watched the grandchildren play and even played some of the old games we used to play together. Then you got sick. I knew it was going to happen, you were only human after all. I sat by your bed and gently held your hand as you grew weaker by the day until you finally passed and I made my way back to your house. A few weeks passed and everything was cleared out of the house. I remained in the oppressive silence until one day I heard the soft giggle of a child and the clink of a marble rolling across the floor. Looking over, I picked the marble up with a light smile, a light green cat's eye marble, just like the ones you used to love the most. But I was confused as to where it came from. You didn't have any marbles when you got older and neither did your grandchildren.  I had just slipped the marble into my pocket when I heard an all too familiar laugh. Turning my head, I saw you again! But you were a child and you could see me! You have no idea how happy it made to hold you again and talk to you like we used to.

A few months passed and we were sitting in an empty room playing when we heard the slamming of a car door and footsteps running up the stairs. I pulled you away into a closet to hide and watched as a young girl ran in, but I wasn't quick enough to get out of sight. She saw us and the way she smiled melted my heart. She asked us to play but she was called downstairs to help unpack. We watched as her parents brought boxes and other things into the room she chose and we helped her unpack. We became her friends and it was one of the best days of my existence. I had you back and we had a new friend to play with.