Imperfection

Imperfection Chapter 8

"I presume you all know why you're here," The man begins, pacing around the stage with his hands linked behind his back. His combat boots squeak loudly as he spins on his heel to pace in the opposite direction.


"You all," He sighs. "Are the group of Betains who have certain difficulties or, shall I say, deficiencies that make you somewhat different from other Betains,"
The crowd is silent, mesmerized by his words. I hadn't expected him to be so gentle while talking about us. 
"Some of you managed to be sent from the Genus even though you haven't been properly altered to Betain standards, while others developed these deficiencies while you were within Betain territories." He stops pacing and faces us. "And now, you have been sent out here, far away from Beta, never to see your homes again."
I can sense people near me tensing and becoming increasingly uncomfortable. It isn't easy to be banished from everything you've ever known. 
"But why?" He exclaims, throwing the back of his hand to his forehead dramatically. "Why, oh, why must you be thrown away as if you were nothing more than rubbish?"


I cringe as he compares us to rubbish. I knew his kindness was just a façade. 
"Can anybody guess why they would kick anyone out of our dear Beta? Come on, anybody. Just yell something out, it doesn't matter,"


They are afraid that we'll destroy all of their society and ruin 150 years of work. 
They believe that Beta is a place for only people of a perfected nature and there is no room for those of us who aren't flawless. 
They are disgusted by us and they think our differences are like contagious diseases.

Several of these responses surge through my mind, never reaching my lips. 
The rest of the crowd also remains quiet. So quiet that the only noise to be heard is the hollow echo of silence. 
"Nobody?" The man's booming voice completely abolishes the silence. "Not a single one of you knows why you were kicked out?"
When no one answers he shakes his head and says, "Quiet an idiotic group we've got this time,"


Blood red waves of rage flood my vision but I say nothing, do nothing. 
I feel utterly useless. And that is how they want me to feel. 
"Since all of you are too stupid to speak I might as well just tell you," He sighs and shakes his head as if he is ashamed of us. "You have been excluded because you are dangerous."
I can actually physically feel the confusion swarm around me. 
"Your deficiencies make it difficult for other Betains to live safely and peacefully," He notes, sighing. "And as you know, safety is our prime concern in Beta."


Then explain the oozing, bloody knife wound on my wrist. 
"It is our duty to eliminate all possible threats to the safety of our people,"
He grins, his eyes narrowing into dark slits. Evil and cruelty leak from his cracked lips. "And that, my children, is exactly why you're here."


Worried whispers fly around me, ending in fearful hisses and gasps. 
I am silent. 
"Don't fret just yet. You aren't going to be... dealt with at the moment. You have a choice," 
Anticipation, anticipation, anticipation. 
"You can either be eliminated now," He sighs and observes the crowd, his gaze lingering on the fiery curls on my head. "Or you can work for us," 
It seems that everyone is holding their breath, too scared to relived their burning lungs. 
"It's quite a simple choice. Life or death." He diverts his gaze to his gloved hand. "Has anyone made a decision yet?"


It's a simple choice indeed. Be murdered or continue to live and work for murderous beasts. 
And even now, what is the point of life? What is the reason I continue to breathe as if I can amount to anything? 
There is no reason. 
I am unwanted. Unneeded. Unimportant. 
I am nothing.

I'm pushing through the crowd, weaving through the crowd. I don't care if I step on anyone's foot. I must get through.

I stop just about a meter in front of the stage. I stare up at the man and he stares back at me, amused. 
My breath catches, my knees tremble, my brain hollers at me to turn around and go back. I'm not scared. I'm petrified. I can hear the blood being pumped from my heart to my veins. 
What have I done?

I swallow down my fear and look him in the eye. "I choose..." I begin.


He raises an eyebrow. "You choose-?"


I remain silent for a moment and then I speak. "I choose to be killed," 
People in the crowd gasp but I can't go back now. 
He raises his second eyebrow.

Someone puts their hand on my left shoulder. 
"What are you doing?" A deep voice growls in my ear. "Taking the easy way out? I thought you said-" 


"Shut up," I snarl. I can't think straight enough to decipher who it is. Frankly, I don't really care enough to do so at the moment.


"You choose to be killed?"


I pause for a moment. What would happen if I said no? 
I'd probably still end up dead. 
I purse my lips and fight the tears threatening to pierce through my eyelids. I nod my head slowly twice and then three times with more confidence.


The man stares at me for a moment and then sighs. 
He reaches down into his boot. "As you wish,"
When I see what he has pulled out of his boot my blood freezes over. 
I know people behind me are shrieking but I am too mesmerized by what sits in his hand to hear a thing. 
I'm dizzy. I can't think. I'm immobile. 
He extends the pistol in his hand in my direction. 
NO, no no no. Not here. Not now. He can't do this. 
His finger is clamped over the trigger. 
The tears in my eyes win the battle against my eyelids. 


"You chose this," he says. 
I close my eyes and brace myself for the end. 
My body is tense and tight. Images of my life back in Beta flash in front if my eyelids.

My first day of Conscientia, or school as they used to call it.

Life with Peace and Courage, my Caretakers, in our home.

Reciting verses from the Vita, the book of life in Beta, each morning in Conscientia.

The last memory is the Citizenship ceremony.

I'm standing in my cloud-colored gown in front of a whole crowd of cheerful Caretakers, who gush and brag about their children on the stage. Beside me, Fairness, a girl in my Language class, stands twiddling her thumbs nervously. 
I too am nervous, but I refuse to show it. 
The Dux Ducis has been calling names of for the past 15 minutes. Fairness is called and she waltzes over to get her certificate. I stand among the last few people on stage, nervous and praying we're not sweating too much. 
"Explore," The Dux Ducis calls and a boy in a black tux walks up to receive his certificate. 
And then the Dux Ducis crushes me dreams. "This concludes the ceremony. Congratulations to all new citizens. You shall continue to uphold Beta's glory and prosperity. Thank you for attending the Citizenship Ceremony." 
I stand on the stage, frozen with shock and confusion. Nobody in the crowd notices me standing alone without a certificate in hand. They're all too busy fawning over their own children to be worried about anything else. My Caretakers are staring at me, their faces blank and emotionless as aluminum walls. I stare back at them for a moment and then rush off stage to find them. They tell me it must have been a mistake but their eyes say otherwise. They know what I am. I am nothing but a mistake to them. To them I am not a human; I am scum on the heels of their boots. They must be overjoyed that I'm no longer in their presence.

I'm startled by the sound of a pistol firing: a loud, echoing boom that kicks your heart into overdrive and makes your senses go haywire. 
People shriek and cry out all around me but I don't dare open my eyes. Everything seems to be in slow motion. 
Though the sound of the bullet being fired was clear, I have yet to feel the pain of my skin slicing. The only thing I can feel is the grip of the hand on my shoulder. It's strong and almost machine like. I've never been grabbed like this before. 
I notice the grip getting looser and looser by the second. I decide to finally pry my eyelids apart and observe the scene around me. 
To my surprise, there is no bullet coming straight for me. In fact, the man isn't even looking at me. He's staring at the person to my left: the person who has their hand planted on my shoulder.

I turn around to face the person to my left and I'm horrified to see who it is.

Walker releases my shoulder from his iron grip and falls to the ground in a dark pool of blood.

Conscientia: Knowledge

Vita: Life