“You know, no one would care if you died. They’re all better off without you anyway.”
“No one likes you, not even your band mates.”
“Just kill yourself. You’d be doing the world a huge favor.”
The voices in Oli’s head just kept repeating the crude statements, the same ones that kept him up at night. Everything was just going on a downward spiral to hell.
Maybe the voices were right, Oli thought. Maybe he should just end it all and do everyone a favor.
What was the worst that can happen?
Sure, Oli’s band Bring Me The Horizon would be without a vocalist for a few months, but he would eventually be replaced.
“Just do it.”
“Leave me the fuck alone!” Oli screamed at top of his lungs. “I’m doing it, can’t you see? You’re gonna get what you’ve always wanted.’
At the other side of the door, Josh, vocalist for the band You Me At Six, stood in amazement. He could not believe what he was hearing.
Josh was holding a small box in his hands, as a present for Oli. Today marked the seventh year since Oli and Josh met. Both of them had a tradition to get each other a present on the 17th of April of every year.
It’s not like Oli had any major feelings towards Josh, but the older male thought it was a nice gesture that Oli hadn’t stopped their little tradition. On the other hand, Josh had major feelings toward his fellow musician.
He’d been able to hide it pretty well for the past three years but he didn’t think he’d be able to do it for much longer; especially now that YMAS’ tour manager had informed them that they’d be doing Warped this summer, along with BMTH.
Without knocking, Josh barged into the younger male’s room. He needed to see what was going on with his friend.
"Oliver Sykes, what in the bloody world do you think you’re doing?” Josh yelled anger and hurt in his voice.
“I’m listening to the voices in my head and just ending everything. No one likes me anyway, or at least cares enough to stop me.”
Okay, that hurt.
Did Oli not see Josh there? How could he say that no one cares about him?
Josh has been in love with Oli since the first say he met him.
His eyes, his lips, his cheekbones, and the way his hair fell just above his eyebrows. Everything about Oliver Sykes was just absolutely perfect and no one could deny it.
“Please Oli, don’t do it.”
“But there’s no point in going on Josh.” Oli smiled sadly. “I’m gonna miss you mate.”
“No! Don’t you dare say that Oliver. You are stronger than that.” Josh cried. “Put the bottle down. Please.”
“NO JOSH!” he screamed.
Oli had never talked to Josh that way. The older male seemed taken aback by this, a confused look on his face as he took three steps back.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t want to go on.” he cried.
“But Oli, there’s so much more to live for. You’re only 22.”
“Don’t you get it Josh? No one loves me.”
“Think about the band. What are all the kids going to say when the man they look up to just suddenly takes his own life? They’re going to think it’s okay to do the same.”
“But-“
“Just think about it Oliver. If you don’t do it for yourself at least do it for them.” Josh sighed, lowering his voice. “Do it for me.”
“What?” Oli asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Do it for me Oli. You’re my best friend.”
Josh sighed, slowly lifting himself to his feet, walking carefully towards Oli. As soon as he was inches away from him, Oli pulled him into tight hug.
“Please don’t ever do this to me again Oliver. Please.”
— — —
“Let’s go over them one more time.” Josh suggested. “Code red means you’ve cut, code orange means you have a pill bottle in your hands, code yellow means you’re thinking of cutting, and code green means you’re feeling lonely and you wanna talk. Got it?”
“Got it.” Oli smiled. “Thank you so much mate.”
“This is what I’m here for Oli. I’ll always be here for you.”
He smiled and hugged Josh tightly. Oliver had never felt this way before, but there was just something about Josh that made him feel loved.
Earlier, when Josh walked into Oli’s room, he felt a pang in his chest. He didn’t want someone whom he considered his best mate to see him like this.
It really tore Oliver up inside.
“I’m so sorry Josh.” he apologized. Josh smiled and hugged Oli with all his strength.
“Remember the codes.” the older male reminded Oli. He nodded and walked out of his room.
“I love you.” Oli whispered, but it was too late, Josh was gone.
At the other side of the door, Josh heard what Oli said. A huge smile appeared on the older male’s face after hearing those words. The same words he had been waiting to hear ever since he met him.
The older male decided to do something out of his comfort zone and hint at his love for Oli.
Josh slowly re-opened the door and stuck his head in. Oli had his body turned away from Josh.
“Hey Oli?” Josh questioned.
Oli’s body quickly shifted to face the older male, a huge grin on his face.
“Yeah mate?” he wondered.
“Me too.”
With those two words, Josh turned and left the Sykes’ residence, leaving Oli confused.
Oli would surely ask his friend about this the next time they met. For now, he’d be left with the benefit of doubt.
