Shadowhunters Imagines And Preferences

You're not on your own-Raphael imagine

You sat on your bed, staring down at your frantically shaking hands. Your mind was messed, along with your vintage room. You remembered all the effort you had put into decorating your room last year as you and Raphael moved in together, you treated your room like it was a prize possession. You were so devastated about how you terribly trashed your room was due to thoughts in your head, images you couldn't escape and things...things you desperately felt the need to do but scared you drastically to even imagine the consequences of you doing so. Your head found its way to your hands, giving you some sort of reassurance and stability as your thoughts came flooding through again.

You threw your head back as your eyes shut, and everything went black, almost like you were falling asleep. Although you knew this wasn't the case, you let it consume you.

You were in a dark alley way in the upper west side of Manhattan when you felt a sharp tingling feeling in your bottom lip. You whipped your hand up to your face with a feeling full of worry and concern, as your fingertips brushed your lips you instantly knew what was giving you this sensational pain. Your fangs. You knew that this was a hallucination, that it couldn't be real. You couldn't have fangs, you couldn't be a vampire...could you? You felt the air around you suddenly decrease and your breathing go- your breathing? the thing you couldn't do either? breathe?  speculations flew around your head in a whirlwind of thoughts. How could something so supernatural seem and feel so real? You thought "I'm not asleep, this isn't a dream. But if it isn't a dream then what is it?" Suddenly you had the urge to scream out in pain as your stomach tightened around your slim waist. Your knees gave in, dropping you to the ground as your arms snaked your waist, clinging on to this pain. You finally heard the world again, like you have never heard it before, loud. like, really loud. You heard peoples footsteps and lakes rushing by. Lakes? In New York? But the thing what you could hear the most loudly was the blood, the blood rushing through people veins. The thing which kept people alive, what kept them breathing. The thing you wanted the most.

You threw yourself up as it all got louder, the burning taste of metal in your mouth got heavier as you felt the need to instantly drink something to calm it, but not any old martini will cure this. You needed that, you wanted that. Blood. Your eyes found themselves staring up at the night sky. Thinking no one would see you, you then dashed out of the alley way and sprinted so fast down the streets everything else seemed to be moving in slow motion. You was mesmerised at how magnificent the world seemed from this point of view.  A point of view which you hadn't decided whether it was real or not. You felt your stomach get tighter and tighter  giving you the immense desperation of hunger. But not hunger like food from a corner take out. The only way you could possibly cure this feeling was to find that one thing you were craving.

You wanted to be some sort of discreet with what you were about to do, even though there was nothing discreet about it at all.

You stopped running outside of an old antique shop on the corner of a street full of closed shops. Holding the street lamp which flickered above you, your head lashed around the street. Looking for something, or, someone. Your eyes finally landed on a young boy who was walking down the street on his own, on some kind of console. You hated to do this, you knew it was wrong but before you knew it you had a hold over the kid in the middle of the road, your mouth tightening on his neck as you heard his little whimpers. You heard his console drop to the ground and you pulled away. The little boy dropped to the ground, not moving. You hastily took steps back in horror as you looked down upon what you had done. The air closed in around you as you also fell to the ground.

Your eyes opened as you sat up in bed. Your cheeks felt damp and your throat hurt. You tried standing up but your legs couldn't hold you, you tried to grab your bed side cabinet to stabilise yourself but suddenly it came crashing down with you. You curled up underneath your bedroom window and cried into your knees. You didn't know why you were having these visions, but were they really visions if they felt real? Your thoughts rushed away from you as Raphael came barging through your door. He stood there for a moment until his eyes landed on you. He came running over to you as he held you to his chest.

"Hey hey, y/n what happened? what's wrong?" he asked as he stroked your hair

"V-visions, I erm, I killed a guy Raph" you started as you looked up at him with teary eyes. He looked confused, searching your eyes for anything. "I-I wasn't breathing, I had uh f-fangs, and I killed him. I killed a little boy with them" You choked as more tears fell from your eyes. "its okay, I'm here for you, always" He said as he shushed you, rocking you back and forth. "It- It's not okay. at all. aren't you listening to me?" you said as you pushed yourself away from Raphael

"Of course I am. Listen there is more people like you, like us y/n"

"w-what?" you stuttered and looked down.

"What you saw, it was real. Well it didn't really happen and I know this sounds crazy but it is what you wanted to happen. Wasn't it?"

"N-no, I'm n-not a murderer. I wouldn't do that"

"But your thoughts did"

"oh my G-G-g. w-why cant I say that word?" you asked as you choked on trying to say the word 'God'

"Because...you see, y/n you're a vampire."

your eyes widened as the words came out of his mouth.

"no-no, that, that cant be! They're not real. are they?"

"Of course they are! well, of course we are"

"we?"

"meaning me, me and you. and obviously the others."

"wait what others?"

"yes. y/n look, there are others like you. I am one too but that doesn't change who I actually am. We can help you, You're not on your own. please" He suddenly looked all sympathetic as he held his hand out to you. You slowly stepped forward and took his hand in your own.

"Okay well, tell me everything" you shakily said as you looked at Raphael.