Addison Winchester (Now Completed)

chapter 46

Gideon and I left the break/waiting room and started heading back to Spencer's room. We made it to the door and I stopped.

"I can't go back in there." I whispered, shaking my head at the older man. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall. "I don't want him to look at me like he did again."

"You're just going to wait out here?"

"I'll keep watch." I offered, though I knew it was more of an excuse then anything else. The only thing I could do right now if things go to shit is shoot a gun at whatever it was. I don't think the hospital staff would appreciate that especially if the Demon happens to be possessing one of the doctors. Gideon nodded his head and went inside the room. He didn't know that I was full of shit, as far as he was concerned I knew what I was talking about even when I didn't.

I don't know how long I leaned against the wall, I really wanted to know what they were talking about, I wanted to find Derek and ask him if he knew about the body and what the cops think happened, because if the bad guy's dead that means the case is over right?

I decided to do something useful and went up to the nurses' desk and asked for a pad of paper and a pen, then pulled a chair over in front of Spencer's door and got to work in trying to remember the exorcism. It was like trying to remember a song, I kept repeating the beginning over and over in my head trying to get the rest of it to flow though my thoughts.

"Addi." Dean's voice carried though the hall and I looked up from the half written Latin passage. He walked quickly towards me with my bag. They must have gone back to my motel room. "We went and got some of you're clothes for you." He said when he made it to me. He put the bag on the ground next to me.

"Thanks." I smiled up at him but I knew it didn't meet my eyes. He looked at the paper in my lap and frowned.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to remember an exorcism. I don't want to get caught off guard again." I folded my hands in my lap over the paper and shrugged.

"Why are you sitting outside the room, I thought you would be holed up with lover boy."

"I don't think anything like that will be happening anytime soon." I took a deep breath in an attempt to keep my emotions in check. Hiding shit like this used to be so easy for me.

"Guessing you came clean then."

"Yep and he thinks I'm crazy." I laughed but it was a bitter one. "Just like I knew he would and now I don't know what's going to happen."

"Addi..." He sighed, grabbing the bag off the floor and pulling me up by the arm. He walked back the way he came until he found an empty family waiting room. He pulled me inside and shut the door behind the two of us.

"I feel a chick flick moment coming on." I joked, He sat down in one of the chairs and motioned for me to do the same while giving me a sour look.

"You've never made things like this easy."

"Neither have you." I replied, crossing my arms over my stomach, not wanting to talk about this.

"He didn't believe you?" He asked.

"It might have gone better if Aaron hadn't dug up all that shit about Dad and us." I shook my head and pulled my arms closer around me. "...he thinks Dad abused us." I looked down at the table. I could feel the tension in the room rise and I didn't have to look at him to know he was biting his tongue from saying something that neither one of us would appreciate.

"He didn't abuse us."

"I know and I tried telling that to Spencer but I've been keeping things from him for the last four, almost five years…I don't blame him for not believing me about that. I guess when you really look at things I do come across as someone who might have been abused." I shuddered.

"What did you tell him exactly?"

"Just that dad hunted monsters for a living, and I told him about the werewolf attack that made me run away." It was silent for a few seconds. "He would believe if he came face to face with a monster, but until then he wont be able to fully accept that as a real thing."

"Did he flat out call you crazy?"

"No, he said I wasn't crazy when I told him to stop talking to me like I was….he thinks….I don't know what he thinks. All I know is that I can't go back into that room and have him look at me like that. Like I'm…." I put my head in my hands. "When him and I first got together I thought….i thought that I wouldn't ever have to tell him, that I could bullshit my way thorough that part of my life. He never pushed things, he excepted that I didn't want that to be my life anymore and talking about it was out of the question."

"That's not right." Dean said, cutting in. "You can't just hide that much of yourself from someone you want to be with. One of the reasons I don't date." He said the last part like a joke because we both knew that that wasn't the reason he didn't date.

"I know, I know that thinking like that was me being pretty damn optimistic. Anyway if I want him to believe me then I need to take him to see a monster." I said it like it would be the easiest thing in the world.

"Or we could bring this monster here." Dean offered.

"No, I do not want that thing in the same room as him." I shook my head violently.

"Well what do you expect to happen if you take him on a hunt?"

"I'm not going to take him on a hunt. I was thinking of him seeing one from afar or some shit like that!"

"That's not how any of this works. You know that. You don't get to see the monsters unless you want to be up close and personal with them." Dean leaned back in his chair. "Addison if you want any of this to work you're going to have to loosen the rains a bit." He stood up. "Now get back there with your baby daddy. Stick to your guns and everything will work out. Might not end up the way you want it to but it will work out." I stood up too.

"I don't want this thing messing with Spencer any more then it already has." He gave me a look that told me that it didn't really matter what I wanted. He grabbed the bag and opened the door for me. This is the most he's ever done for me in that sense. "What happened to being super pissed at me?" I asked even though it was a bad idea. He shrugged.

"Don't know, maybe its seeing you all broken up about this guy."

"So the fact that I'm upset about this makes you not angry?"

"No I'm still pissed, but I'd feel like I real dick if I didn't at least act like I cared." I laughed at him. He walked me back down the hall and Gideon was coming back out of Spencer's room so I stopped. I took a deep breath and turned to Dean.

"Thanks for acting like you care." He chuckled but stopped when I wrapped my arms around him. "I know you think I didn't but I missed you." I said against his shoulder. He waited a second but returned the hug.

"If you ever disappear on me like that again I will hunt you down and….I don't know what I'll do but you wont like it." He said it into my hair. I pulled away and looked up at him.

"I wont," I told him, "I promise." He nodded like he accepted my apology for the first time since we got back into touch, if that's what you wanna call it. He ruffled my hair and I scowled even though it didn't really bother me. He was about to say something but I felt something jump inside my stomach. It felt like something was swimming inside my stomach, my hands shot to cover it and I gasped. Dean grabbed onto my arm and looked at me with a panicked expression.

"What just happened?"

"I think the baby kicked me." I said lowly, a smile stretching across my face. I felt it again but it wasn't as strong as it had been before. I laughed. "I have to tell…." I glanced over my shoulder at Spencer's door and saw both Morgan and Gideon watching me.

"Go." Dean said. "Make up with your boyfriend. You've made it this far." He kissed me on the forehead and handed me my bag. I nodded and he turned around and went back the same way he came.