Chapter 17
"Yo, Nate! Check out Tambry's blog!"
The long haired blond turned his phone display around to show the dark haired Nate.
Nate reached over the table but Lee pulled it back.
"Whoa! No barbecue sauce on the phone dude. Respect the phone!"
Nate frowned and went back to eating Smokey Joe's Best Ribs.
"Meh, who cares, she just posts a bunch of gossip anyway..."
"Wendy is with Dipper now."
"So? Wait, what do you mean 'with' Dipper, like, with him someplace or like..."
"Like, with him. Like he's her latest boyfriend!"
"Whaaaaaa...? Lemme see that!...They're holding hands. Ummmm so that doesn't mean anything does it? Is this photo shopped?"
"No man, it's legit! Look what she says: 'Dipper now boyfriend of insane 17 year old. Saw them swap spit, live, n/k "
Nate took off his baseball cap and scratched his head. "She's joking right? That punk is like, 5 years younger than her or somethin' right?"
"No man, he's a freshman, Wendy's a junior, so like two or three years. I think it's three 'cause the way the birthdays happened they are only two years apart for like, six months, and then like, three years apart another six months or something."
"You're such a nerd Lee."
"Not as much a nerd as Dipper. Remember that time he fixed up that old VHS tape player? Wendy was like, all happy and stuff so she could watch a bunch of old movies."
"Huh yeah. And now he is her boyfriend? So...it was like a plan, huh? Make her all happy and then she kisses him or something and then like, makes her like him. I shoulda thought of that, then I coulda made Tambers sorry she didn't..." and he stuffed a rib in his mouth.
"Haha! Like you could fix a tape player. Oh man, it's still not over for ya yet huh dude? Move on! But yeah, Dipper may have got new street cred but Wendy LOSES credit, I mean like, why hang out with that clown when I am older and available?"
" 'Cause trading a clown for a bigger clown isn't an upgrade man."
"Shut up man. I swear, I don't get girls sometimes, Tambry goes for Robbie, and now Wendy goes for a punk."
"Yeah, like what's wrong with me? "
"Well let's see..." and Lee started counting on his fingers.
"Don't go there, it was like a retro-torical question or whatever. What does a freshman have that we don't?"
The two boys sat silent for a few minutes, eating and looking down at the table.
"Uh...I still don't get it."
"Me neither."
An awkward silence while the two stared at each other.
"It's...it's my hat isn't it?"
"More like your face dude haha!"
"Shut up. I don't see you trying to hit on either Wendy or Tambry, so what's the matter, no guts?"
"Dude, I got more class than to act desperate like you."
"I ain't desperate! Anyway, chicks are too much trouble. And expensive."
"Yeah, too much for a guy that can't even afford a cell phone and uses mine all the time."
Nate looked up and closed his eyes tightly.
"OK man, I get it, no job, no money, no chicks."
Lee felt bad all of sudden. "Hey man, sorry. You know, Dipper ain't got a real job and he is with Wendy, so...so you don't always have to have money dude."
Nate opened his eyes and looked down at the table. Then looked up at Lee.
"I'm gonna get a job!"
"Yeah! That's the spirit man!"
Nate stood up. "Hella! TODAY! A JOB! But...you're right..." and he sat back down. "Dipper doesn't have a job and he still gets to swap spit with Wendy. What's he got goin' on?" and he scratched his head again.
Lee looked down and then back up. "He is always taking Wendy places, like, exploring and stuff."
"Yeah, you're right."
"Plus, he is always kissing up to her. Treats her...treats her like, what? A princess and stuff. Am I right? Like a gentleman."
"I thought chicks wanted a tough guy?"
"Well maybe some chicks don't."
Another minute went by as the two were lost in thought and somehow found their way back. Nate spoke first.
"So like, I treat her all special and stuff, like flowers maybe and take her someplace she hasn't explored before!" and for the first time all day Nate smiled.
"I dunno man, maybe. But I think Dipper's got some other edge too. Something else."
"Like what else man? Gimme some ideas dude, I want to steal her from Dipper."
"WHAT? You for real man? I don't think Wendy gives a nickel for you. Not her type. I thought you were talking about getting a new girl. Someone besides Wendy and Tambers."
"Wendy's hot man. She's always been hot, but I...I never said anything 'cause as soon as she breaks up with one dude she's got another. I can't get in edgewise. But now that I got a plan, as soon as she dumps Dipper, I'll be ready."
"Haha! Man, you serious?"
Nate stood up and started walking away.
"Serious."
"HEY! What about your part of the check!"
