Jasmine

Chapter Seventeen

I downed the drink as my hands ran through my hair. My mind was all fucked up. Mascara ran down my face as I sniffled while trying to hold back the last of the tears I had. The way I was feeling was breathtaking. It felt like people were manipulating me. I couldn't function.

" You got kisses up and down your neck. You smell just like that nigga, I know what you've been doing with him. You ain't fucking slick " Shad cursed as he threw my shirt back at me. The same one he ripped off my body so the marks could be revealed to him.

" You ain't fucking slick. Like you haven't cheated on me with another bitch from your past. I don't give a fuck if you didn't mean to or didn't, you should've never hopped your tall ass in the car " I said yelling and Shad hit the wall causing me to jump. My eyes widened as he took a seat while huffing. Shad was turning a slight red color.

" Like I said, I didn't fucking mean to and I sure didn't mean to send you a voicemail of me with some broad " Shad said as he stared at me. I rolled my eyes and threw his jewelry at him. The last of his items that remained in my house.

Shad grabbed his stuff as he got infront of me. I rolled my eyes as he placed a kiss on my forehead and headed towards the door.

" It's either him or me. I don't have time for this shit " Shad said as he pulled on his jacket and walked out the door.

I'm so heartbroken right now. My baby daddy or my boyfriend? I shook my head while staring at my drink in my hands. Genesis and Landon were running around playing with their toys as Kilo stepped through the door. I sighed and turned around while cleaning up my face. He kept a straight face as he sat down his jacket and greeting the children. Their small arms wrapped around him as they kissed his cheek.

Kilo got up and stepped infront of me as he placed a soft kiss on my lips then sat next to me.

" Kilo, I-I'm so sorry but I'm confused. I love you and I'm in love with Shad and I just can't -" I said as I broke down. His strong arms came over me as he comforted me. His cologne smelt good as it went up my nose while his tattoos ran down his arm. Kilo's veins were popping out and all I could do was bite my lip. His ass was looking sexy and smelling good.

" I wasn't trying to complicate you but it don't seem like that baby. I shouldn't have gone that far but shit, a nigga missed everything about you. Your smile, your kisses, your touch, your hair, even your damn pearly ass teeth. " Kilo said as he described me while playing with my hair. His soft lips ran across my cheek to my lips as he kissed me deeply.

" But go to that nigga Shad, I guess. I don't know. I want you back but not like this " He said as I laid my head down on him thinking about what to do. The kids stood there and watched us while scrunching up their face.

" Ew, that's nasty " Landon said with a smug look on his face. I laughed as Genesis slightly pushed him.

" Kids, go have a snack okay?" I said and Kilo looked at me intensely.

" So what you gone do?" He asked.

•••••

" Shad, I'm a grown ass woman! I don't give a fuck what you think or what you think you know what the fuck to do. You will not ignore the fact that sometimes you have to make better decisions too." I yelled while screaming in his face.

" I know how to love a woman!" Shad yelled and I tilted my head to the side.

" You think you know how to love a woman? A black woman? You don't fucking know. You supposed to respect me, be by my side at all times and not go fuck around with ex's behind my back. I don't want sex all the fucking time! I want trust, commitment and love. I don't want any of that shit you swear up and down you giving out. Then you leave, every time we argue. I want to talk shit out! " I stressed while clapping my hands as he tucked in his lips listening to what I was saying.

" Man, whatever. I got to go." Shad said as he slipped on his hat.

" See there the fuck you go? Running always like a little bitch does. Reality check, you can't run away from your problems!" I screamed and he turned around. He tensed up as he clutched his hands.

" Question for your ass since you think you a pastor, who is it gone be then? You with two men, how about how to love a man?" Shad said as he was close and whispered in my ear.

" You cheated. You cheated. You fucking CHEATED!" I said while throwing my hands wildly at Shad as he backed up. He tried to restrain me but I was fucking him up.

" Stop mama, stop. I already said I was sorry. I'm sorry ma. I really am. I am."  Shad said softly as he held me in a hug as I cried against his chest.

" You love me? " He said looking into my glossy eyes.

" Yea, I love you baby." I said as he held me tightly.

My decision was chose that moment.