Ours One Shots (Zianourry family/Lilo)

come over now, and talk me down

hey guys I hope y'all are well. I have finals starting tomorrow, so I probably won't update for a few days. This one shot gets a little sad, but I promise it's nothing overwhelming. Also I just want to dedicate this to @AlyJ2013 bc their comments on the last update made me so happy I may have cried. Just a bit tho.

Enjoy my loves.

Louis doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to feel anymore. It seems that through his time here, he's grown a bit numb. And that says a lot, really, because even when he used to drink himself silly he never felt this distant from himself and his emotions.

He's exhausted, is the thing. Being sober makes him irritable, makes him think that maybe life isn't really worth living. He hasn't seen Liam since this whole thing went down and now, months later, he's still not sure he'll be able to talk to him. Liam's written letters, Louis' responses were always blunt. Louis thinks he's made a mistake agreeing to let Liam pick him up.

There's a sharp knock on the door and a nurse peaks her head in, giving Louis a soft smile.

"Reading to get out of here, my love?" She asks. Louis plays with the sleeves of his sweater and shakes his head.

"Maybe this isn't a good idea, Rosie," he mumbles. "I don't think I'm ready yet."

Rosie was without a doubt Louis' favorite staff member here. She was sweeter than sugar and always talked with a voice like molasses, even when Louis was being particularly stubborn.

"Oh, pet." She sighs, sitting down next to Louis. Louis wants to cry, can feel the stinging behind his eyelids, but no tears come out.

"What if he's been seeing her while I was gone? It's been such a long time."

"I don't think that's the case dear. Not with how many letters and phone calls you've gotten. He loves you, and that doesn't excuse what he did, but you wouldn't have married each other if either of you thought you were capable of loving anyone else." Louis nods and lets out a breath.

"Is he here?" Rosie nods.

"In the lobby. Ready to sign you out. You know, he looks miserable without you." Louis frowns.

"I hope the fuck he is."

"Now, now." Rosie tisks.

She holds her hand out for Louis and he slips his hand in hers, grabbing his bags. He takes one last look around the room, and he feels a little sad. These walls have seen him at his worst, when he didn't want to get out of bed, when he would shake with the need to get a drink in his system. He's gonna miss this place, he thinks. Miss how the white walls surrounded him like a blanket, protected him.

The moment Louis rounds the corner and spots his husband, his chest tightens. He feels like he can't get enough air and he has to suck in a deep breath, squeeze his eyes shut, and count long to five before releasing it.

Rosie was right, however. Liam looks like he hasn't slept in weeks. He's got deep bags under his eyes and scruff from not shaving. His hair is messy and his eyes are wide. Louis hates that he still thinks Liam's beautiful. Hates how Liam still has this hold on him as if he didn't completely fuck up his life.

"God, Lou." Liam chokes out, and his arms are open hesitantly. Louis wants to push Liam away, but he's not strong enough for that. As soon as Louis is pressed up against Liam he's defeated.

"I hate you." Louis breathes, hands gripping desperately at Liam's shirt.

"I know."

"How can you still feel safe? You ruined me, Liam Payne. You ruined me and you still feel like home. I fucking hate you." Louis shakes. Liam only holds him tighter, presses kisses to Louis' head and whispers on about how he knows. Louis doesn't think he can kiss Liam, even though it's been nearly half a year since they've done so.