Unaccustomed: Urban

Sap

You ever felt like you didn't know what was going on, but you didn't care; you knew everything was right, and that's all that mattered?

That's how I felt whenever I was with Josiah.

Love? That shit is crazy. I knew Josiah was the only nigga I was willing to go crazy over from then on out, but I wasn't sure that what we had was love.

I didn't know what we had.. I didn't know if we could really make that shit work. I didn't know how long whatever it was between between us would even last.

Josiah smiled at me, licking his lips. I blushed, taking my eyes away from him. I was embarrassed, knowing I had probably been starring at him for a while now.

"You like what you see babygirl?" He asked.

"Boy calm down. You ain't all that cute." I mumbled.

He shrugged, "You seem to think so."

"So we going in or what?" I asked, changing the subject. He just got out of the car, coming around to open my door for me. He lead me into his house.

I made my way to the kitchen as usual. I opened the fridge, surprised to see actual food. I looked around for a second deciding to make some pancakes. I was caught off guard, by the feeling of arms being wrapped around me. Josiah pulled me close to him.

"You asked to touch my food?" He asked. I heard the smirk in his voice.

"I'm tryna find something to eat." I said.

"I already know what I'm tryna eat baby girl."

He kissed my neck. I closed my eyes, gasping.

"Chill." I mumbled. He chuckled, letting me go. He had a seat at the island, smiling at me while I blushed.

"When you gone let a real nigga make love to you babygirl?"

I shrugged, "When I meet one."

He stale faced me. I laughed, walking over to him. He just looked at me.

"I was just playing." I told him. He stared at me blankly.

"You really need to chill. You always saying low key shit." He said.

"You really on some sap shit right now." I mumbled. He rose his eyebrows, looking at me.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about." He nodded. He picked me up, and put me in his lap.

"I'm sorry."

He just bit his lips, looking at me for a second. He knew that shit let waterfalls loose. Just about anything he does gets to me.

"I ain't even gone trip. You'll see who really with the sap shit when I have your ass begging me to-"

I kissed him. He laughed, putting his hands on my waist. I tangled my hands in his hair.

Trigger warning:
(A statement at the start of a piece of writing, video, etc., alerting the reader or viewer to the fact that it contains potentially distressing material.)

"Stop," I mumbled, pushing him away from me a little. He ignored me, pushing my skirt up. He trailed the kisses down me neck and I was fighting a moan.

"Stop. I'm serious." I told him. He paused to looked me in my eyes for a second. I didn't see Kaden looking down at me with his usual intensity. I saw Lace, daring me to keep objecting. Before I could even decide whether to shut up or scream, he was placing his hand around my throat. I was so shocked. I whimpered.

"Shut that shit up." He barked. I screamed, and his grip tightened on my throat.

"I love you princess remember. I'm not trying to hurt you." He told me before placing his hands back at my sides.

He kissed me in the lips. Then, he starred at me for a second. I knew he was waiting for me to say it back. I didn't. I just closed my eyes, waiting for him to be done.
End of Flashback

"Kai! Kai! What the hell?"

I opened my eyes to see Josiah holding me tightly. I looked at him confused.

"Why are you holding me?" I asked confused. He looked at me like I was crazy.

"You were swinging on me like yo name was Ali or some shit." He said. I gasped, tears came to my eyes.

"I'm so sorry."

He let me loose, hugging me as usual.

"It's ok baby. I understand."

I didn't even cry. I just sat there staring blankly.

"I wanna lay down." I told him. He grabbed my hand, taking me into his room. I got into his bed, pulling the covers over me and he followed. He put his arm around me still. I felt safe.

"I think you should get help." He said.

"I'm not crazy."

"I didn't say you were. I'm just saying at least talk to someone. It can be Siriya. I'm open. Jordan would listen. You know my mom loves you. You have so many people to talk to." He said.

"Don't talk to me like I'm suicidal." I told him.

He just sighed.

"Next time you decide to be Ali imma call the looney bin right away."

I just laughed. Somehow this nigga Lace is controlling my life from his death bed, and that shit is not gone fly.