Yesterday was a strange day. I was uptight and stiff from the second I walked out of the prison, but I managed to get through it. Vic was sweet and so understanding as to why I was acting the way I was, especially because I had to move in his house since I didn't have one of my own. It was a compromise he was willing to take and it meant a lot to me. But that was then and this is now, and now it's time for me to go job searching.
I thought of options: retail, management, etc. I was lucky enough to have finished my high school education while in prison, and now I have my diploma which certificates me for certain jobs. I could actually have a chance at life.
But that thought was put to rest as I started to write my resume. My parole officer notified me that I do have to write on my resume that I am on parole for six months or else legal issues come into way. With this on my resume, I know people are going to dismiss it in a second. Nobody wants a criminal working for them, it was only a fact.
When I finished, I felt that I had written it well, with honest answers, and all the little attachments needed, I printed about twenty copies. I figured I could take them out and spread them across to different places that were offering jobs.
I put on a nice white button up that I owned, and borrowed a pair of nice grey business pants from Vic's closet, tying up the whole look with a grey tie and black shoes. I shaved my face, and trimmed my own hair so that it would look a little more tamed and groomed then it did before, making me look a lot more professional.
I left the house at around twelve with no intentions of getting back before an hour. The outskirts of New York are vast and I thought it would be a while. Every place I went to wasn't hiring. I had so few options and even fewer options when I thought about my experience level. But I couldn't give up. I wouldn't give up. This was what would make or break me, and I had already been broken once, so its my turn to make it.
I made it home after a two and a half hours, and to my disappointment I had not yet caught the interests of many places. I did turn in all of my resumes and was told they would get back to me. I was just hopeful that something would come out of this and I wouldn't have just done all this for nothing.
I sat on the couch in silence. I checked the time and realized Vic should be home any minute. I only know this because everyday after work Vic would visit me at the prison on his way home which would be around 4:00, and its currently 4:17. Just like I predicted, Vic walked through the front door not even a second after my conclusion.
"Hey Kells. Any luck?" Vic questioned as he closed the door behind him.
"Not yet, but I'm not giving up," I said. Vic set all his things down by the front door and made his way over to me.
"I understand. Don't worry though, you'll find something. You aren't totally hopeless," Vic assured me. It put a smile on my face that one person was rooting for me through this battle, even if the rest of the world was on the opposing team.
Vic sat next to me, took off his work shoes and got comfortable. I did the same. I took a deep breath and Vic put a hand on my neck. I instantly flexed into his hand, my tense muscle screaming in stress. Vic noticed right away and looked to me in concern.
"Let me give you a massage. Maybe it'll ease the stress," Vic suggested. In response, I nodded. He grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers with my own, and led me to our room.
"Lay down on your belly" Vic said, "and take off your shirt," he demanded. I followed his directions, taking off my shirt and laying stomach down on the bed. Vic went to the bathroom to get what I assume would be some kind of lotion. I was right, because when he came back, he had a bottle of lotion.
As he came closer to the bed I relaxed my body more. He got on the bed and then proceeded to straddle my backside. At first it felt normal, for him to be on top of me the way he was. But then I felt awkward as I realized he had no intent on being sexual. My natural instincts told me that when someone was on top of me, it was going to end up sexual thanks to my past self, but this wasn't and for some reason I couldn't relax my muscles.
"Kellin, relax. You are so tense it won't feel good," he whispered. I heard the bottle cap of the lotion click, and it sounded familiar, like a bottle of lube. The next second I felt his cold hands in contact with my back.
It felt nice. It felt sweet. It felt like someone actually cared, and I couldn't have been more grateful. I finally relaxed my muscles as he went on. With his thick fingers, he rubbed down my spine, focusing on every knot that fell into his hand's way. He got my shoulder blades, shoulders, and even my arms. He made sure not to neglect any uncovered skin.
Vic's massage felt so good, and in my relaxed state of mind, I slipped in and out of consciousness. As he went on, it was hard to stay awake. I was almost fast asleep like a baby when I heard:
"I know you're innocent. They don't know you like I know you."
And with many questions on my mind, but no energy to ask them, I dozed off into a beauty sleep.
Sorry for shortness. Today was a rough day for me. At 12 we took my grandma to the hospital, I only got two hours of sleep last night, I thought getting my ear pierced would make things better, but it only got worse. Apparently I might either have anxiety issues or blood sugar issues because I passed out while getting them done (I got three) and they had to call 911.
Ugh I just need escaping.
