Ghost of You // harry styles

Chapter 23- "Those three words."

This chapter gets pretty... heated I guess you can say so don't say I didn't warn you.

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A silent car ride, followed by a silent walk, followed by a silent entrance into our flat, followed by complete silence until about 8 PM, when Harry stepped into our bedroom to call his bosses and tell them that he won't be leaving in the morning but instead tomorrow night due to "things within his family". I can only imagine how quickly his bandmates are going to text him and ask him what happened as soon as they hear wind of Harry's delayed arrival. I wonder what he's going to tell them because I'm almost positive they don't know anything about Harvey and they still think I'm just a girl he knew in Holmes Chapel. 

When he walked back into the main room, I met his gaze. Our eye contact obviously indicating something to him, he walked over to the couch where I sat and pulled my onto his lap as he relaxed into the cushions. It felt so nice because since we had gotten home from Anne's, we sort of avoiding each other. It wasn't out of hostility or anything, it was just from the shock and the sense of vacancy we've been feeling since we said our emotional goodbyes to Harvey. But now he held me in his arms, my face pressing into the side of his, and my hand resting on an area of his chest where I could just barely feel his heart beat, reminding me that I still had one of the twins alive and with me. 

"I still feel like he's here. Like he's just gonna appear right now and purposely interrupt this moment."

"That's because he is still here. He promised he'd stay with us, don't forget that." He assured me.

"I know, but it's easier to imagine than to actually live with. I'll never have a friend like him." I buried my face into the skin on his neck.

"I know what you mean. It's hard to think of everything he gave us just to get taken away."

"He gave me you though. And you're still here." I look up at him.

"Always." He promised before delicately pressing his lips down to mine. But they way he pulled away only a few seconds later with a conflicted look on his face left me confused.

"What?"

"It's, uh, nothing."

"It's obviously something, Harry. You don't look too happy about whatever it is, either."

"No, no, really. It's not important."

I stared up at him starting to pull away from his embrace.

"If you honestly think I can't see through your lies, you're delirious." I snapped, my patience thin from this emotionally exhausting day. I shoved his arms off of me and got up, starting to walk into his bedroom in hopes that maybe I could just sleep off this awful day. His arm wrapped around my wrist and gently turned me around to face him just as I was walking through the door.

"Penny, stop. You're right, I am thinking about something and I lied when I said it's not important. It's actually one of the most important things that could ever come out of my mouth, especially being said to you. Those few minutes with Harvey, that one final talk with him, was all I needed to hear to be sure that if I say this, I mean it completely and without a doubt. But I just feel like I can't. Not with everything that's just happened." 

I knew exactly what he wanted to say, not only because the hints made it more and more obvious, but because I know how he feels. 

Those three words.

I want to say them too, but he's right. The events of today would just take away the drama and attention that the words deserve. 

"Then show me."