If I live forever, can I live now?

6

He didn't stand up to greet me. He stayed there, sitting at the other end of the backyard, looking undisturbed, completely calm, as if us seeing each other after more than half a year didn't affect him at all.

As I approached him, I saw his playful smile, or perhaps I just imagined it, because the dispersed stars on the polluted London sky were almost the only thing that lit my way towards him. He didn't take his eyes of me, or even move, and my heartbeat quickened. What was he doing there? We hadn't randomly run into each other. He had come over to Africa's house to see me. Or to see her. Either way, he clearly had a goal, a purpose, a complicated but undeniable proposition.

"Tessa. You look just the same. Your treatment surely does work." he said.

I stood in front of him, silently. I figured that I should sit with him on the grass, but I was frozen. My heart wasn't even pumping faster anymore. It was frozen too. He had come out of the dimension of my life were I loved him forever, and had compromised my sanity in doing so. He looked just the same as well. His green eyes were piercing even in the dim light. His soft lips looked like poisoned velvet.

"Do you want one?" he asked, offering me a rolled up cigarette.

I coughed.

"No, thanks. There's already enough drug in the atmosphere inside. I need to take in some fresh air."

The second sentence was true, but the reason why I had to breathe slowly wasn't precisely the intoxicating bubble that Africa's house had turned into. He was more intoxicating than that.

"I heard that tobacco sales have increased crazily since your discovery was made public. People love to be able to fill their body with junk without having to die for it. Smoking isn't irresponsible anymore. However, that makes it less interesting, right?"

I didn't know if he was waiting for and answer, or just trying to make the situation less awkward. I decided it was best to sit by him. It would make me look a little less tense.

"I prefered to smoke when it was irresponsible. Irresponsibility is sexy."

No, please. Don't let him start talking about anything related to sex.

"David is here too, right?" he asked, as if he was reading my mind.

He didn't seem to be willing to cooperate in helping me relax, at all.

"Yes. Why?"

"Because he might come here to kick my ass if Africa tells him I'm out in the dark with you."

He turned towards me and looked into my eyes for the first time. He smiled, and I couldn't help to smile as well. I almost fell into his sapphires. I almost reached for his face and kissed him. We were out in the dark together, indeed. Where nobody could see us. All the possibilities that invaded my mind after thinking that made me want to slap myself.

Who was I? Was I suddenly a year younger, running into him at King's College for the first time?

"Why are you here, Luke?"

He exhaled the smoke and faced me again.

"Camille has set up a company to ruin you."

My jaw fell wide open. I hadn't expected anything related to that. I was half shocked and half disappointed. I had thought he had come to talk to me about us, about how he still had feelings for me. I wouldn't have guessed it had to do with professional issues.

But I suddenly understood what company he was talking about.

"Oh no."

"What?"