Labyrinth 2: The Return Of The Goblin King

Chapter 20: Don't Look Back

Chapter 20-Don't Look Back

This was it. No holding back. This is something that I should have done before. Now, too much time has come to pass. I needed to tell him how I felt THAT NIGHT, or everything would fall apart. I'd be a prisoner forever, and NOTHING could EVER give me the courage to say anything about it ever again.

I waited until they were asleep. Waited until I heard that very first snore from each and every one of them, EXCEPT for Sir Didymus. I had come to know that he only pretended to fall asleep when really, he waited for me. he waited for the time of my return to keep an eye on my safety and my well-being, because in a sense, he STILL had no way of knowing whether to trust him or not. Everyone else had come to learn, but then again, everyone else didn't know where I disappeared to every night, or that I disappeared at ALL, for that matter.

I could feel his eyes like daggers at the back of my head as I reached the door, but this time, I couldn't let anything take away a SECOND of this moment I had to have, so I didn't look back. Instead, I leapt over Ludo and hurried out the door in a flurry of emotions and excitement, internally planning out what I was going to say in extremely intricate detail.

This time, I used the extra amount of time it took to fly through the halls to plan out my actions and my own dialogue. This had to be PERFECT, I remembered as I went through everything in my head. Sure enough, I knew just how to say it and every possible response to what he might say by the last corner of the last hallway before the one leading up to the back doors...

"Jareth!" I burst through to the outside in a heavy pant, finding myself in a struggle to retrieve my breath, which I'd left behind some staircases ago. I didn't know why I shouted his name. Then again, I wasn't sure why I burst through the doors as eagerly as I did. The pressure and excitement must have been building up inside of me my entire way down there and I guess I just couldn't hold anything in any longer. But what an astonishment I was-he must've jumped two feet from his seat on the top of the marble stairs.

He turned, and as his dazzling eyes met mine, I became sure all over again that I loved him. I couldn't help but smile. I guess my excitement of the moment blinded me from his depressed demeanor.

Slowly and solemnly, he stood, keeping his sad eyes trained on me as I nearly jumped out of my skin keeping my secret inside. The last time I told myself I'd tell him, I wasn't ready. I remembered clearly how I'd come out and sat with him, unable to say a thing. But that was months ago. NOW, I knew, I was ready to admit everything down to the words "I love you" and all he could do was look at me almost mournfully. But I didn't notice at first. "I have yo tell you something important!!"

Without a word, he took both of my hands in his as I gazed happily into his eyes, practically bouncing in place. But upon closer inspection, I began to realize something was wrong, and my happiness faded into nonexistence with his next words, "Me too."

His expression grew more and more worried as we looked into each other's eyes. What could he have to say? This question was all that ran rampant through my mind in the seconds that followed, and suddenly, I couldn't bear the silence anymore. He wasn't saying what he needed to say, so I needed to push it out of him somehow.

I tilted my head slightly to the side. "...What's wrong?" I asked. I couldn't even imagine what could go wrong at a time like this, since my mind was on much happier, joyful topics. But all of that changed soon after, when Jareth took a deep breath, held it for just a moment, and slowly murmured, "...I'm...setting you free..."
~
He had to stay strong. For her. For the kingdom. For himself. For what was TRULY the right thing to do. He choked back a few tears, but the pain still ate away at his heart with his words and her fading smile. After how CLOSE he'd gotten to what he so longed for for years on end, doing what was right and setting her free to live a life she chooses to have HERSELF hurt so much. But maybe Sarah felt relieved by hearing this. Maybe she was ecstatic to go home and see her family again. Who was he kidding, of COURSE she was. And since she was happy, maybe that could be enough to make him happy, as well. But he watched her expression become less and less of a happy one, and was immediately confused.

She took a reluctant step back, staring into his eyes with horror, almost. "W-what?" Jareth tightened his grip on her hands as if she'd slip away with one more step. His tone grew slightly frazzled, but his stern gaze suggested he was cool and collected and indifferent.

"You are no longer obligated to be my prisoner. You are free to leave this place." He took a quick, sharp breath as he realized what he'd left out, "Your friends as well!" But he did not receive a response for a long, long time. She just stood there, frozen in place, no word to throw in. Jareth knitted his eyebrows together in worry. "What's wrong? Isn't this what you wanted?"

She looked back in horror, hardly able to speak. She couldn't even get so much as a whimper out before Jareth realized a second more and his protective wall would shut down and release all of the hurt he had behind it, and he could no longer stand it. He straightened out his back, cleared his throat, and continued, fully collecting himself for the final act of his performance.

"No matter," he said, looking straight down at her. "I expect you to leave the castle at once. You'll wish to get back to your own reality with your home and your family as soon as possible, I'd expect."
~
But I didn't WANT to leave. I didn't WANT to forget about the castle, or the goblins, OR Jareth. Of COURSE I missed my family. And of COURSE I missed living in a dimension where things actually seemed to make SENSE sometimes. But here, I had many more friends. Here, I had the one man I could envision spending the rest of my life with. And HERE, I had a much better future ahead of me rather than the life of a boring old Journalist. I could already see it-Sarah Williams, the Goblin Queen!

But what would make me most happy would be to rule by HIS side.

i finally found my voice after a moment or two of a struggle and stuttered in my astonishment, "...B-but-"

"I..." Jareth shouted, suddenly raising his voice angrily or as if he was in some sort of a struggle. His eyes were red, puffy, and sort of swollen as he seemed to choke back...something. A sob maybe? But for what reason? I jumped ever so slightly at his sudden shout and watched in horror as he gulped and tried again.

"...I insist..." he said, much quieter now, his voice nearly a whisper. I could feel the tears form in the moment we stood there, facing each other, the moonlight swimming through my watering eyes. And in another moment, without realizing until it was done and over with, I turned, grabbing at the handle of the door and racing back the way I came to the bedroom.

I didn't care how obnoxiously loud I was. I was too out of breath, too frazzled, and too angered to have it mean anything to me whatsoever. In my hurry, I slammed the door shut behind me as I stormed back into the room full of peaceful, sleeping creatures. As I found my way through the blurring tears back to the edge of my bed, everyone slowly awoke with deep yawns and stretches around me and could only express their confusion and astonishment they had to wake up and suddenly see me weeping my eyes out and shuffling through drawers to find clothes to change into and out of my pajamas.

"Ugh...Sarah?" Ludo groaned thunderously as he slowly lifted his back from the floor and rubbed his tired eyes with a lazy fist. Hoggle, who previously lay on his stomach on the hardwood floor, raised himself up to his knees and blinked vigorously as he looked at her with drooping eyelids.

"Sarah..." he asked almost drunkenly. "What's wrong?"

Sir Didymus then awoke with an abrupt start, jumping right up to the heels of his four legs in a battle-ready stance. "Hu-WHA?!" He growled and barked, obviously waking from an enticing, realistic dream. "I SAY, SHOW YOURSELF, CHARLATAN! YOU BRUTE! YOU MENACE! DEVIL! I..." his excited words slowly slowed as he realized he was now part of reality once again, and what he found there was clearly not a sight he'd wanted to see.

I had already pulled on some sweats and a baggy t-shirt-the first things I found in the drawer-in place of my original nightgown(I was so flustered, I didn't even care who I changed in front of) when he came to and threw in his own questioning stare. Ambrocious stretched behind him, the last to awaken.

"...My-My Lady...?" he asked breathlessly. "Why, whatever is going on?" I looked back at all of them, unafraid to display for them my tears and my sudden hatred and my sorrow. I looked them all in the eye before turning back around and slamming the drawer shut.

"We're leaving," I said through gritted teeth. Plain and simple. They all gasped.

"'Leaving?!'" They asked collectively in pure astonishment. I looked back once again. Hoggle's jaw hung wide open. Ludo's eyes were wide. Ambrocious whimpered and Didymus just stared at me with two furry brows scrunched together in worry. My expression didn't change in the slightest.

"...We've been set free," I said angrily. Speaking those words was like pushing the reset button in my mind, the one that made me relive those awful words he'd said only moments before as collective gasps filled the room and confused glances were shared around the thoughts that shrouded her mind in despair and hurt and anger.

How could he do such a thing to me?! Wasn't he the one who brought me here so I could fall in love with HIM?! I immediately felt stupid, realizing that everything he had said and done since he'd brought me here could very well have been just another game-a way to poke fun at my feelings and emotions just like he'd done before. Did he really love me like he said he did? I used to think so, but then and there, I decided I just wasn't sure anymore. For all I knew, he could have been using all of this time just to rid himself of boredom. A cruel, black-hearted lion poking and stabbing at his prey with boredom and impatience before ultimately sinking his teeth into the poor, defenseless creature. I suddenly ached. What a fool I was for believing. What a mindless oaf I'd been, believing that he and I...

Without another word, I stormed out of the room with tears flowing like rivers down the sides of my face, the others not far behind.
***
Jareth caught up with us at the door, his eyes like laser beams scouring their way through my skull as his hand rested upon the handle, waiting to clear the way into the dark, cold, and lonely night. My seeing him again slowed me down. As soon as my eyes met his, despite how dead I felt inside, my heart seemed to melt with the warmth produced by my love for him, and it made me realize just how helpless my situation really was. It's a hard thing to walk away from the person you love, facing the realization that you'll probably never see them again. But with the way he built up my emotions and shattered them in the end gave me the strength to walk right past him and out of that door.

Don't look back, I told myself. NEVER look back. It will only make you change your mind.

I trudged on, my friends leading the way. They were dead silent, exchanging amongst each other confused and worried looks and glancing over their shoulders at me. My back was stiff. I took deep, meaningful breaths as I tried to clear my mind of the thoughts that invaded. But no matter how hard I tried, with every step I took, my mind sought even more reasons behind his actions and words, ones that justified them. He looked pained when he spoke about it. Maybe he didn't want to send me away. But then, I thought, why would he in the first place?

I battled with myself internally on whether or not to care as we ventured deeper and deeper into the Goblin City, its streets empty and its houses hushed with sleeping creatures. The more I thought about either reason, the more I wanted to look back. No, I found myself saying over and over again in the back of my mind. Do NOT look back! You'll just get hurt all over again! And with my own encouraging words, I was able to tough it out.

For the most part, anyway.

We came upon the vast front gates that connect the city to the labyrinth. They were nearly twenty feet high and wide and in them, almost as large as the doors themselves, was a shadowed indent where their defensive battle suit lay on the outside. Memories flashed hurriedly by of my previous encounter with the horrid machine, memories that soon won't matter. I watch as the doors open slowly, revealing to me the outside in which lay even more memories that will soon be forgotten. Soon, I'll leave this place, and when I leave, I'll leave behind everything but the friends who saw me through each and every obstacle in this wretched dimension. And I'll leave behind him, and he'll be the most horrible thing I've ever left behind.

There was no denying it, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't leave him, I just couldn't! Whatever the matter was, I could turn back, and we could fix it! My adrenaline rose higher and higher until we passed through the gates and stepped out into the open, and I could bear it no longer. I loved him, and if he loved me, too, then we could make it. I turned...

Just as the metal doors of the gate sealed shut with a deafening boom.