Midnight Train To Nowhere

December 25th 2014

Today was a nightmare.

So in the morning me and Rachel went through the usual christmas tradition of sitting on mums bed in the morning opening our presents while she sipped her coffee and watched us. We have done this since I can remember. Then we get ready, load all the gifts into the car (usually in the washing basket) and head up to my grandparents for lunch. This is where the whole family comes and its the same each year. We make a huge pile of presents and then me and Rachel hand the gifts to everyone like little christmas elves since we are the only grandkids in the family. Then everyone rips into their little pile and there is a big old pile of paper on the floor. Then we have a huge potluck lunch that everyone has put into and then dessert after. 

It's the same every year and I love it. 

Except this year.

It started out as little things. Little comments about my dad to mum, and me and Rach trying to ignore them. My mothers families favourite pastime is bagging my dad and I hate it. Mum started drinking more and more through out the day and by the time it came to dessert she had just resorted to sitting in the corner with her bottle of wine. 

Then dad showed up. He just wanted to see me and Rachel, we are his kids and its christmas for god sake. My grandparents and aunties all got up and arms and would let him through the door. Me and rachel just wanted to see him I mean, we are 18 and 19, we can make our own decisions. Apparently not. So then they all started arguing and Rachel was crying because she hates confrontations and I tried to comfort her but she hates that. 

My Aunt called the cops. I couldn't believe her. Like seriously? That's my dad. I just wanted to hug him and its ok that they all didn't matter. I love my dad and I don't understand everyones problem with him. Me and Rachel are his children we deserve to talk to him, well that's what I think any way. 

Me and Rachel ended up running through the back door and jumping the fence to the train tracks below and walked home. I refused to cry, although she was sobbing. I wish I could make her feel better when she is sad because she is such a lovely person and it breaks my heart to see her like that. So when we got home she shut herself up in her room and just balled her eyes out. I hate it. 

Why does my family have to be so dysfunctional?

Now I am just looking forward to New Years where I can see Sabrina and Simon and make them happy with their presents. Maybe then we can have a real christmas and it will feel more like family. I might invite Rachel if she wants to come. I am thinking about getting totally wasted since it will be my last chance before I leave in February. 

I don't know, we will see how we go.