Reflections Change

Childhood Memories

After taking off my makeup and putting on my comfy pajamas, I lay on my bed watching Gilmore Girls.

As Rory continues to speak to Dean about her insecurities, my mind involuntarily drifts back to some long subdued childhood memories.

Nine Years Ago

"Please let me eat in peace," I plead to Jennifer as she and her gang crowds around my lunch table.

"Eat? I think you've done enough eating Amina, considering how fat you are." She coos as her gang of wannabes laugh hysterically at her comment.

Aaron is at home sick today, and Taylor has dance practise during lunch. This essentially left me alone, vulnerable, and exposed to Jennifer.

"I don't know why Aaron hangs out with you, how can he not see that you are a complete loser? I mean you're the only Paki in this school. You should leave and go back to wherever you came from."

"I was born here, in Canada just like you Jennifer," I whimper.

"You see that's where you're wrong. You are nothing like us," Jennifer says flicking her blonde hair behind her shoulder. "Your dad is just lucky he was able to find a desperate caucasian woman like you're mother to immigrate his worthless ass over here."

My lip quivers after Jennifer says this. How could she be this mean to me, what have I ever done to her?

"In fact, we should start calling you brown cow from now on because that is what you are."

To my horror Jennifer starts to moo at me and her friends follow suit. Before I know it, half of the lunchroom is mooing at me. One guy even throws his milk carton at me.

My eyes well up with tears when I look down and see that milk is splattered all over my favorite Aeropostale shirt.

I quickly abandon my lunch and run into the girl's bathroom. I viciously try to rub off the milk stains on my shirt, while tears fall down my face.

When I finally look into the bathroom mirror, I see a broken girl staring back at me.

---

The familiar ding of my IPhone brings me back to reality.

I see a text message from my dad stating that he needs to see me immediately tomorrow morning.

Sighing, I turn off my laptop and try to get comfortable in my bed.

I know that I must stay away from Aaron because I cannot see Jennifer again, not after what she did to me. Although it's been nine years bullying wounds still hurt, no matter how long time passes.

My mind keeps questioning how can Aaron could be with a girl like her? He was my childhood idol, my hero, so how could he want a racist, cruel, and bitchy girl like Jennifer?

I know I made Aaron out to be this knight and shining armour when I was a kid, but I am practically an adult now and clearly he is not what I remember him to be.

Yeah sometimes people change, but I doubt Jennifer did! I don't know if I could ever forgive her. My mother always told me, hating people because of their skin colour is wrong. And it doesn't matter which colour does the hating. It's just plain wrong.

My chest swells as I recollect memories of my mom. Unfortunately she died a year ago from a heart attack. My dad was devastated, he truly loved my mom. He often referred to us as his favorite girls since I was an only child. Now with mom gone, my dad is just the shell of a man he used to be.

For a while I just stare up at my ceiling, waiting for the oblivion of sleep to overcome my thoughts.

..................................................................................................................................................

I wonder what Amina's dad needs to talk to her about? hmmm.... 🤔

This bullying scene is brought to you by my own bullying experience. Due to contrary belief, there is a lot of racial bullying in Canada. 😡

Do you guys have any experiences with bullying? Let me know. 

Also the song posted above is called Oblivion and it is by Bastille! I love Sophie Turner and she just so happens to be in the music video! 😍

-Anisha