The Ten Illusions of Life

1. the illusion of sympathy

 I guess it was bound to happen. For everyone to start caring about me, because my 'story' got into the news. The attention, no matter how unwanted, will be present for the next couple of years. I don't know how to feel about that.

I don't know what exactly to feel, because I didn't even know myself, anymore.

I had so many questions that needed to be answered, and yet they were all saying that I could do it, and that they were glad I made it out okay.

But, the problem is, I don't know if I could do it, because it has been five months since that accident, and here I am, barely holding it together, and oh-so close to exploding like a time bomb. And no, I didn't make it out okay. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I made it out worse.

Being a miraculous child of God because you made it out a car accident was one thing. Getting out of it with amnesia was a whole different story.

~

"Hey Gab. I'm really glad you're okay, and I hope you know you're so strong to be here at school. I mean, come on. If I was in an accident, I'll make sure I'll never step foot in school again!" The girl laughed, but seeing that I wasn't amused but only had a forced smile in my face, she stopped. "Anyway, that's all I had to say."

Then, she finally scurried away.

I didn't know the old Gabrielle Montez, but I was sure that I wouldn't know that girl's name even if my life was on the line.

To be honest, as much as I would love to enjoy a normal life, I knew I couldn't.

Not when a huge chunk of it was missing. Did it feel like this when you were a newborn baby? Waking up to a whole new world you couldn't decipher, then suddenly being blasted into the whole circle of life. Because it sure felt that way to me.

Now, added to the list of annoying peculiarities was all the pity looks I was getting wherever I walk. I mean, why does it have to be so significant all of the sudden? It was like all these people are being paid to pity me. Like, just because they know I've been in a rather hard situation doesn't mean they need to care about me all of the sudden for the sake of showing that you have sympathy. I know that it's effort, but what was it for when you don't really mean it? At least, that's what it feels like.

Therefore, I conclude that this was the first illusion of life that I have come to face since waking up completely oblivious to it: the illusion of sympathy. Beware of this illusion for it is easily mastered by people who wish to be a part of the loop and offer you their sincerest wishes when it isn't sincere at all.