Puppy Love || (n.j.)

15

I cried in Nick's arms for about an hour before I finally gained my composure the smallest bit. My makeup was smeared and I was hurting so bad. To know that I could never bare children, and that's a woman's responsibility, it shatters my heart.

"I'm gonna go make dinner. Are you alright with chicken and potatoes?" I said quietly.

"You don't have to-"

"It'll somewhat take my mind off of it. Plus, we've been eating out a lot." I kissed him quickly before going into the bathroom and checking my makeup. I touched it up a little, then went into the kitchen and began peeling potatoes. I stood at the sink, concentrating on what was in my hands, and then an overwhelming sadness came over me.

My tears took over and I put my forearms on the edge of the sink, letting my knees bend. That's when my fiancé came and put his arms around my middle, his chin on my shoulder. He tightened his arms around me, letting me cry.

"I've never said it out loud. It's hurts even more now that I did."

"I know baby. Take all the time you need." He kissed my cheek, and I felt safe in his arms. I continued making dinner, and a half hour later, it was done. I set the table and Nick and I had dinner, discussing our day, and his upcoming schedule.

"Thank you Nick. For being so understanding, and just...for everything you do for me. Thank you for taking care of me, and not just telling me to deal with this on my own." I smiled at him, putting my hand over his.

"You don't need to thank me Cass. I'm just being the kind of gentleman my parents raised me to be. Luckily, I found you to help me get that straight." He smiled at me, his front teeth showing.

"I love you so much."

"I love you baby girl." He hardly ever called me that, but whenever he did, it made me feel some type of way. His lips captured mine and his hands moved to my waist, picking me up. I wrapped my legs around his torso. I put my hands on his cheeks, savoring his lips.

"And I'm about to show you how much I really love you baby." My fiancé said gruffly before carrying me into our bedroom.

--

After, we lay in our bed, my fingers running up and down his chest. A movie was playing in the background, but I wasn't really paying attention. He made me feel like an absolute queen. He put his hand over mine, then grinned down at me.

"Hey, so Joe called me when you were making dinner. Him and Ashley would like to go on a vacation in the next couple of days, and were wondering if we could watch Delilah. I said yeah, but it may be a little more on you because I think I'm gonna be pretty busy these next few months." I was instantly excited. Nick's niece was the sweetest little girl I have ever met.

"Yeah, sure. I'm sure they haven't had time to themselves in quite awhile." I said.

"Alright, awesome. Can I tell you something baby?"

"Of course, anything." I propped myself up on my elbow to look at him. Nick looked me in the eyes, biting his lip.

"Are you really ready to get married?" He blurted out, then scanned his eyes over me to see my reaction. I was shocked.

"Nick....I...yeah, of course. I love you with all of my heart."

"Commitment. It's a really big commitment to one person Cass."

"Is it me? Is there something wrong with me?" I asked, scoffing. I wanted to get defensive right away, but thought I should let him explain himself.

"No, no! You're so amazing Cassidy, it's just, I'm not sure if I'm really ready to settle down and get married. What if we held off for a little bit?" He nervously chewed on his lip and I closed me eyes, taking a deep breath.

"So, you don't really know if you want to marry me? You bought me this amazing engagement ring, sounded so sure when you proposed, and now this? I'm not sure I'm following."

"You don't have to take your ring off or anything. I just need some more time to really be sure I'm ready for this. Do you think you can do that? Please baby?" He pleaded. I nodded slightly.

"I can do that. I respect your feelings Nick." I went over to sit on his lap under the covers, putting my arms around his neck and kissing him sweetly. I would wait as long as he wanted.

--