The Love Game // z.m

Chapter Nineteen - "You'll never understand until it happens to you"

Zayn Malik

I don't understand how Kelly could say that. Does she not know that people care for her?

I can see the tears building in her eyes. She doesn't want this. She doesn't want to be upset. Whatever happened must've really torn her down. How could someone be so upset that they want to die. It's heartbreaking seeing her like this. She's usually so happy and full of life. Now, i don't even know how to describe her. Her eyes have no emotion in them. She looks dead. 

She gives up trying to hit me and surrenders into Harry's arm. I hate how close they are, but he's the only one who can get her to calm down. It's horrible not being the one to comfort her. I only seem to make her angry and upset. Am I that bad of a boyfriend?

Kelly turns around and cries into Harry's chest. He signals for me to leave the room. I walk out taking one last look at the broken girl i love. There must be some way for me to fix this. 

Kelly Brown

I fall asleep laying on Harry's chest. I don't think I can remember the last time i have felt secure. Safe. Not since that night. I don't think i'll ever be the same. Not after what he done. 

***

Harry's left me on my own now, that's not a good idea. Although, all I've been doing is shifting in and out of sleep. No matter how much sleep I'm getting, I still feel drained. It's a constant cycle. 

Throughout the day people have been popping in and out trying to help. They've tried everything but nothing can help. They don't know what it's like. They have no idea. No idea how worthless I feel. How much of a dirty whore I feel. They have no clue. 

Zayn come in not long ago, I pretended to be asleep. I couldn't bear to face him at this moment. He hasn't done anything wrong. It was my fault. It always has been. 

Sarah come in and tried comforting me. She offered me to go out and get drunk. I denied. I didn't want to go out. She then offered to get drunk in our dorm. I denied. Then, she offered to sleep. I accepted.

Louis come in with Sarah. They made out on Sarah's bed. I felt sick. 

Harry come in. He didn't say anything. He just held me. He knew what he was doing. He knew how to comfort me. He didn't speak. We played scrabble. It was fun. This is what my life has come to. Playing scrabble with my best friend. 

Niall also come in. He played scrabble with me and Harry. He won. Him and Harry are so cute. They deserve each other. 

Clary visited. She bought me a bottle of vodka. I appreciate it, but i'm not going to use it. Not yet anyways 

Liam walked in. We barely talk, why's he here? I think Zayn must've told all his friends.

"Hey." Liam says walking in. "Sorry to intrude. Just wanted to see if you're okay." 

"Yeah, i'm fine." I say wiping the mascara from my eyes. 

"No you're not. I can see right through that fake persona that you put on." He looks sad. "Can i sit?" 

I nod.

"You know, people want to help you. They can't do so unless you help yourself. You should let them in. You can't be alone forever. You never know when they could be useful." He chuckles. "But seriously, if you ever need anything, don't ever hesitate to ask. I'll always be there. Even though we're not close, I'd like us to be. You're my best friend's girlfriend. Need to be in his good books." 

"You know, you're a pretty good person."

"My mum's always told me that." 

We both laugh. 

"I guess that's the first time you've laughed in a while." I nod. " I aim to please." 

"Can I have a hug?" I ask quietly. 

He nods and opens his arms wide. I reach in and bury my head in his chest. His chest feels so warm and he defiantly works out. I can feel his muscles through his shirt. 

What if I need to be loved. Maybe that's why i feel so shit. I definatly need to be loved. No one loves me. No one. I need this. 

I look up at Liam and press my lips to his. He kisses back for a few seconds before pushing me away. 

"Whoa. Kelly, you have a boyfriend. You can't do that. He's my best friend." Liam exclaims.

I press my lips against his one more time, playing with the hem of his shirt. He kisses back as i pull his shirt off. 

"No. Kelly, we can't do this." 

"I need to be loved. I need you to do this for me." I cry.

"Who hurt you?"

"Who hasn't?" I cry even harder. 

"C'mon there has to be someone." 

"You'll never understand until it happens to you. That's just how it is. "

"Kelly, I can't do this. If it was under different circumstances I would. But you have a boyfriend who is my best friend. I can't do this. I won't tell anyone, I promise." He says putting his shirt back on. 

"I'm sorry I put you through this. It's my fault, it always is." I say sincerely.

"No, no, no, please don't say that. It's not your fault, please don't say it is. It's not your fault. Whatever has happened, it's not your fault. Please remember that." He says pulling me in for a hug. 

"Thank you Liam. Thank you so much. I think we'll be close friends." I say embracing the hug.

He walks out and I look for some makeup wipes. I wipe my face making sure to go around the eyes to reduce puffiness. I think it's about time I get my act together. I'll try my hardest, but as soon as things get hard, I'm giving up.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!!!! 

Posting this on Christmas because this is my present from me to you! I'm sorry I haven't been posting as regular this year, things will change! This next year, I will be posting more regularly. After I finish this book I do have many other books to write but next year I will be focusing strictly on 'Stripper'. Those of you who don't know what Stripper is, well it's my book that i wrote previously but it under some heavy editing. So next year, I'm planning on finishing editing that and publishing it again. Since there is around 70 chapters, I will be posting everyday once it has finished completely. 

Thank you all for reading! I love you guys so much! 

All the love, 

-Abby x