Short Stories

Be Strong

This isn't really a story, it's more like a rant. I'm going through some stuff and just felt like getting it out. Please excuse any errors

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There's a lot of quotes and poems out there, that talk about being strong. I used to think that I was strong. That I could get through anything. I was wrong. It's really easy to say you can do something before you have to do it, and it's really easy to say you're strong before you need to be. I've come to realize that no matter how many quotes or poems you read, nothing can prepare you for a tragedy. Sometimes you can see them coming, sometimes you can't. Either way, it hurts like hell and the pain doesn't go away. It stays, forever inside you. Sure, it becomes dull after awhile, but it's still there. Waiting to sneak up on you. When you hear a certain song, watch a certain movie, even smell a certain smell. The tiniest thing can bring back all that hurt. So why is it hard to be strong during hard times, even when we want to? I don't know. I don't think anyone really knows, but we keep saying, 'Be Strong!' I've come to hate those words. It's hard enough having to be strong for yourself, but it's worse when other people are counting on you. Counting on you to smile and laugh, and not to cry. How are we supposed to do that? How are we supposed to not cry when our lives are falling apart in front of our eyes? Some of us aren't able to, but some of us do. We keep the feelings inside, locked away in a steel cage. Just because we don't cry, doesn't mean we don't want to. Every second of everyday is like a never ending game of 'Don't Cry'. The tears swell up in our eyes and our throats burn, but we don't let the tears fall. There are people around. They can't know about the inner struggle to stay sane. They can't know about the countless, sleepless nights. No, keep it hidden. Stay strong. After we get used to holding the feelings in, the depression sets in. You find a way to smile through the day, maybe even forget about your struggles, but then it's time for bed. You lay there, in the dark thinking of how much you wish you weren't living your life right now. You wish you could just leave, or just go to sleep and never wake up. It's hard to get up everyday and face your family or friends with that fake smile. It's hard to get up and pretend you're handling everything fine when really you're not. You're not handling it fine. You're drowning in what seems like a million problems. So don't you dare say, 'Be Strong' because I can't. There are days when I'm fine and I can laugh, but then there days when I'm not fine and all I want to do it sleep or read or watch Netflix. Please, all I'm asking for, is to let me be broken and sad. Eventually, I'll be okay. Stop pressuring me into being strong. Because when I'm done crying and worrying and talking about how I'm feeling, I'll rise up out of this dark hole. But I'm hurting now, I'm weak. Let me be weak. Let me gather my strength. Trust me, there's nothing I want more than happiness and laughter, but right now, I need to be sad, so let me be. I'll be strong eventually.